Hot Like Leather Pants: Heroes Edition

I think i wanna write her a poem....

Oh, Dania... How you make me swoon...

I wouldn't mind the chance to fork ya...

but with those 2 dollops up top...

I'd much rather spoon.

SOON.

How to Disable a Woman.

(Relax and take a joke)

lol

Braids & Beads

I’m willing to bet my favorite cocoa butter lip balm that the
majority of people looking at this picture will laugh. But this isn’t funny. Nor is it tragic, unacceptable, outrageous or any of the words we usually look to when trying to describe an unfortunate situation. Allow me to introduce a more appropriate word: OBSOLETE.

ob-so-lete [ob-suh-leet, ob-suh-leet]
- adjective
1. no longer in general use
2. out of date
3. imperfectly developed or rudimentary in comparison with the corresponding character in other individuals

Synonyms: antiquated, ancient, old.

You don’t wanna be this. It starts with braids and beads. Then comes the throwback jersey, bandana and sunglasses in the club. And it always ends with hitting a waitress over the head with a bottle at Jermaine Dupri’s nightclub and being charged with felony aggravated assault. I know it seems like a far stretch, but the things that seem the most inconsequential often snowball outta control. The LesbiFriends aim to keep you off that slippery slope.

Thank us later.

Let's Be Friends...

Now, one woman that inspires me to keep sewing repetitively, is Rihanna… you might laugh, but I’m as serious as a Little Dragon beat. Ladies!!! Take Notes. No haters please. I mean, at the end of the day, her stylist that helps her dress is dope! IF she even has a stylist, idk, I’m still going…

She has the essentials for setting trends and being my wife. Im just saying. 1. Class and Confidence 2. Elegant and Sexy 3. All Black Everything is just a fashion staple to everyone who knows..

All i'm sayin is, I'd rather be around stylish women than a room full of apple-bottoms(sp?). Let Rihanna or Amber Rose step to me and Lauren, DUH We Are Goiing!!!

My fashion Appreciations: harem pants, big collars, military-style bag, pearls, colossal heels

NO!!

What the FUGG are these!?!? If you can't afford Uggs then get another boot! These are unacceptable!!








- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Black Swan is not just a Metaphor.

She cant get a clue? Have Thom Yorke's Black Swan help.

What will grow crooked, you can't make straight
It's the price that you gotta pay
Do yourself a favour and pack your bags
Buy a ticket and get on the train
Buy a ticket and get on the train

Cause this is fucked up, fucked up
Cause this is fucked up, fucked up

People get crushed like biscuit crumbs
And lay down in the bitumen
You have tried your best to please everyone
But it just isn't happenin
No, it just isn't happenin

And that is fucked up, fucked up
And this is fucked up, fucked up
This your blind spot, blind spot
It should be obvious, but it's not.
But it isn't, but it isn't

You cannot kickstart a dead horse
You just crush yourself and walk away
I don't care what the future holds
'Cause I'm right in your arms today
With your fingers you can touch me

I am your black swan, black swan
But I made it to the top, but I made it to the top
And this is fucked up, fucked up

You are fucked up, fucked up
This is fucked up, fucked up

Be your black swan, black swan
I'm for spare parts, broken u

Alright... Let's Talk About #TRACKLEGS

Anybody who knows me

(LolaMaeBee / @LaurMajesty / Lauren)

-I'm willing to put my govn't on the line for this one-

knows THIS:

I'm subject to break out in a sudden dissertation on tracklegs at any given moment... Mid-conversation. 3 steps into a room... Hell, after Sunday service and a good message from Deacon Jones, in a room fulla amputee's!

All is fair in love & tracklegs.

So... gather 'round the red hot hip-to-ankle region my friends and listen close... to the magic that is... TRACKLEGS.

Sheila Rashid

You wish there were five of her dont you? Your bad!

YES!!

These Raf Simons are a must have!! Take all your Christmas money and purchase these before it is too late!

NO!!!!

I am so embarrassed for FILA! The shoe on the left is an imitation Prada shoe!! The shoe in the right is the actual Prada shoe.

If you own the shoe in the left, you don't deserve to breathe! Kill yourself!!

If you want this shoe, SPLURGE, don't STEAL!!!

YES and NO

YES and NO will bring you what to wear and what NOT to wear! If you find that you have an item in the NO category, please throw it away or kill yourself.

So let's begin....

In the Mirror

SadiyyaAmeena on the Shutter

This Will Make Her GO...

ATTENTION! If you ever wondered what will make a female Go(primarily for yourself), the answer is simple. . .your choice of clothing. :) Now, this technique might not have worked for everyone, but it has worked indubitably well for me personally. Quite honestly, these Raf Simons x Fred Perry loafers make me wish I was on an island of Bitches right now, because somebody’s going!

Check out these other top-shelf sneakers in Raf Simons by Dr. Martens 2010 collection that will definitely score points with the ladies and have you walking nice for the New Year. I mean, how would you wear these.

Available @ http://www.rafsimons.com

raw & uncut: the truth, not cocaine (but definitely just as dope) pt. 2

QUOTE (from pt. 1):
women. you frustrate me! are you incapable of casually dating? do you know that you don't have to enter a relationship 2 months after a dating a cool chick? and you DO realize you said 2 months ago you were completely disinterested in a relationship... "YOU LIE!!!"

been doing more theorizing on this...
here's what i've come up with:
it's not that you chicks are lying; the issue is that we are on 2 different pages.

Marry, Bop, Kill... The Eva's Edition

Game is simple...

(a favorite i picked up from my brothers at Leaders 1354)

Who'd you marry?

Who'd you bop it to?

Who'd you kill to consolidate your already diverse portfolio?

 evalongoria

evamarcille-pigford

evamendes

 

aaaand... GO!

drop your votes in the comments.

I Remember When I Fell In Love

"So what's your favorite position Amber?..."
wait fooor it... waaait... yesss.

Everyone But Beyonce pt I

Pardon me, it wasn't my intention to hurt many feelings BUT this is NOT about Beyonce . In fact, "Everyone but Beyonce" is to introduce you to powerful, amazing women who might not have as much fame as Beyonce but, without a doubt, has the talent that probably exceeds hers, plus more.

1st up with a great introduction from 'Hot Like Leather Pants Wicked Tunes Edition', I introduce you to...

Shingai Shoniwa

A unique individual of Zimbabwean descent who grew up in South London, she is the lead singer and bassist for the UK indie-rock band Noisettes. Her startlingly powerful voice will leave you mesmerized. Only to see her perform passionately is something to watch. So I leave you with this... a live acoustic version of one of my favorite songs by the Noisettes IWE.

Hot Like Leather Pants Wicked Tunes Edition

 Hello Noisettes - Every Now & Then



Do yourself a favor... go find more from them...

A BLACK GIRL NAMED BECKY

Here are the 4 times I wanted to be white!

DAMN HAROLDS!?!?! JUST GET A NEW SIGN!


This is the Harolds on 55th and Prairie! FORCE? For real Harold?!?!

WEST SIDE!! Nuff said!

This is the store on 59th and Indiana. I went in to get orange juice and everyone behind the counter was SLEEP!!!

This is the State of Illinois Building on 99th and King Drive! WTF


WE GOTTA DO BETTER!!!

Damn the Dam

In random convo last  nite the subject of dental dam came up. This was a terribly interesting topic as many of my buddies have never used dental dam, or even seen the shit. At least 2 were like wtf is that? One person who shall remain nameless said "don't you use a condom on your strap"? Ha! You cant protect your face with that joint. It lead to a tutorial if you will.  I had to shed some light on this enigma that was "dental dam".

raw & uncut: the truth, not cocaine (but definitely just as dope) pt. 1

women. you frustrate me! are you incapable of casually dating? do you know that you don't have to enter a relationship 2 months after dating a cool chick? and you DO realize that 2 months ago you said you were completely uninterested in a relationship... "YOU LIE!!!"

more after the hump...

My Buddy and Meeee!: A Buyers Guide

Ok, gather 'round young ones, let us talk for a moment about something very important to the longevity of our species. The Pocket Pony.  Rubber Rambo.  Goliath. *record skips* whoa whoa whoa... maybe not Goliath,  but you know what it is: The Dildo. Add a harness to the mix and a dash of lube and you've got the fixin's for an event that'll have you unable to look your grandma in the eye next time she asks you to pass the Crisco.

But, before you go off knockin' down walls Bob Villa, it's best to get to know the tools of the trade, and which is right for the job you've been contracted to perform.

Read more after the hump. 

Hot Like Leather Pants Ed. 1

 

Hellooo nurse.

sorry robin thicke, you don't deserve this. 
i demand to know who you sold your soul to and if they still have inventory... 

sincerely, moi. 

This Is Important: Theories On Booty

Colored jeans tend to make your cakes look better.
Colored jeans can do nothing about that face.

Good booty looks like a happy face and makes you smile, wack booty looks like its frowning at you, in turn you frown back.

I have no ass, but much forehead. Some tribes in Africa exhalt forehead over booty, thus... I GOT CAKES!!! 

When i wanna show my butt i dont wear bangs.

Men with booty should be subject to riding the crimson wave too, cus thats just not fair.
 
It's ok to refer to an ass as Jurassic. 

:-(

:-)

see how that works?