So a friend of mine was out and about on a Sunday morning, doing wholesome and innocent biddings (as one should do on a Sunday morning), when she was approached by a nice looking older gentleman. He skipped all small talk and cut to the chase:
Do you want a sugar daddy? Of course, her interest was piqued and she demanded to know more. He explained that he loves a chocolate woman, specifically one with curves as curvy as hers [insert more seconds of flattery here] and in return, all he would like for her to do after having her way with Apple or Marc Jacobs or whomever may tickle her fancy… is to tickle his taste buds by “using the bathroom in his mouth."
Now I don’t know about YOU but MY mind is racing a mile a minute.
Here are my conclusions on the matter:
- He may use the Sugar Daddy plot to lure women to his home, where he then chops their bodies into little pieces – before or after they indulge his excrement fetish. And he may or may not do unmentionable things to the tiny pieces (I won’t shock and appall you with just how outlandish my mind works by going into further detail).
- He may be an otherwise normal man, aside from a probably-not-so-rare fetish, and he realizes that most women aren’t down for such behavior… but also realizes most people will do anything for the right price.
And here’s my side note about R. Kelly and other similar pedophiles: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the best (and most cost effective) way for men with this sort of penchant for human waste to get what they need would be the underdeveloped mind of an undeveloped minor girl. Because once you get older you start being burdened with bothersome things like morals, self respect, and concern for hygiene. They have no choice but to try to get to these young chicks quick before they’re tainted with sense and sensibility!
Enough about them though. Let’s talk about you.
What are your thoughts on golden showers and such? And since we all know that everyone has a price… what’s yours?
