Just because herbals and the beat for this track are two of my favorite things.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
DADT
Today marks the end of the discriminatory Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy that banned lesbian, gay and bisexual men and women from serving openly in the armed services because their presence would "create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."Thoughts?
Friday, September 16, 2011
Hall of Shame
In lieu of Menace II Sobriety. We decided to take a trip down memory lane. For a second I thought about posting a "Hall of Shame" album with all our fave Lesbifriends caught slipping......but I don't feel like getting jumped this week by a mob of angry women because I posted pics of them with their ass out, or tongue wrestling with some random in the bathroom. I would however like to keep the momentum, and share a few tales of my most wasted experiences.
Jan "05" I was at Jackson State University playing my beloved "spoons" game with a most DREADFUL elixir called TAAKA VODKA. Id never heard of it before but when you're 20, and jobless in Jackson Mississippi all drank is good drank. Plus my new friends assured me they'd had it b4 and all was well. I met a few buddies at some random football players house that one of them was screwing at the time, and he matched the drink with pink KOOL-AID of all things. YES I said pink! Who the fuck knows what flavor pink kool-aid is anyway? Pink Lemonade? Kiwi-Strawberry? Peach? I dismissed the idea that this mystery drink was dangerous because it had to be watered down now with all the pink sugar water, so I dove in and threw caution to the wind.
6 blunts, 5 failed spoons games, and endless chugging of cotton candy flavored oil in my gut later and we've got a problem. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, only to apparently wake up 30 minutes later looking up to two tall, muscle bodied JSU football players standing on the softest bathroom rug my face ever felt. I was done. It was one of those situations when people describe an outer body experience. I was aware of everything that was happening, but couldn't do anything about it. It was like being in the bleachers watching my own show. My body couldn't function. They picked me up off the floor, each took one of my arms and threw it over their shoulders, and it was a sweet gesture. They told me it was ok......until I started PROJECTILE style vomiting all over their pretty little cream & tan decor. It landed on the carpet, the white walls, the lamp shades, and curtains. Swear I've never seen such an assault on someones home. I had slurred speech, closed eyes, and the biggest grin (so I was told). All I could hear since I was semi-conscious is please don't throw up in my Jeep in a worried tone repeated until we arrived at my dorm.
Needless to say I was around some decent people. Aside from the fact that they allowed me to drink rubbing alcohol, and pass out. I didn't get gang-banged by 6'2 linebackers, and everyone made sure I got home safe and sound.
Go All The Way!
The LesbiFriends have eleventy million awesome & amazing new things on the horizon. First thing: we're extra excited to announce that All The Way Kay has just hopped on as The Official LesbiFriends DJ! This means that more often than not you will be seeing her face, and most importantly hearing her skills, at some point at each LesbiFriends event starting at the end of next month.
Kay is dope, definitely original, uber talented, AND she's cute - pretty much the essence of The LesbiFriends brand. The shit just makes sense.
Be sure to follow her on Twitter @AllTheWayKay
Follow the rest of the crew @DenimDown @iQ2ent @LaurMajesty @ToneeMacara (who happens to never tweet from that account but follow it just so it looks like you're following a lot of people lol)
And of course follow the main account @LesbiFriendsChi
Rihanna Gets Down To Almost Nothing
Just like we like her: damn near naked, in the back seat of a dope car.
Thank you Emporio Armani for this ad campaign! Damn you Stylist for that wig!
More pics below
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
We're co-hosting a live concert at The Shrine This Thursday!!!!!
Thursday Night We're Co-Hosting
A Special Edition of
THE SCENE
@THE SHRINE!!!
2109 S. WABASH
CHICAGO, IL
FEATURING A LIVE PERFORMANCE BY
CHICAGO'S OWN...
PEVEN EVERETT
TICKETS ARE ONLY $15 IN ADVANCE!!!
Buy your tickets here:
| Roy Davis Jr Ft Peven Everett - Gabriel |
LIVE DJ SETS BY:
DAVID PARGO &
DJ TONE B. NIMBLE
"Please respect that we have the right to refuse entry if your clothing
and/or attitude do not fit our code or the code of the venue.
Outside promotions unrelated to The Shrine or not affiliated with
B.BLYSS! Productions or Lesbifriends are not allowed on venue property. "
VIP & BOTTLE SERVICE AVAILABLE
Reserve Your Table
& Book Your Birthday Party by Calling: 312-753-5700 for reservations, or email vip@theshrinechicago.com
Monday, July 18, 2011
Lesbifriends Merch
We've been wavering a while about producing some nice collectibles for the masses, and have decided to give you a taste of whats to come!
Stay posted, these pins will be available for purchase soon!
Monday, July 4, 2011
P.I.L.T.B
Places I’d like to bone: Chicago Edition
With fornication on the forefront of my mind most days I figured I share a peak into “Ye Ol Dirty Brain” therein lies some of the most illicit, scandalous, filthy yet genius ideas known to man. Most of which Id be more than happy to demonstrate, but having a boo thang these days makes that a wee bit difficult.
Nonetheless it seemed fit to compile a list of places where you too can get it cracking. Add a taste of spontaneity to your lives. Grab your girl, dip, or breezy and give it whirl. The following would prove to be quite interesting if given the right “can do” attitude.
The Elysian Hotel
The entry to this place makes me feel like a 19th Century Baron. The sculptures that meet your eyes upon arrival are gorgeous. Sexy chandeliers hover above you, and you haven’t even reached your room yet! The real kicker is the bathroom. Italian marble from floor to ceiling is serious eye candy. I drooled just looking at it. All I could see was splashing featuring slippery bodies in my mind, but again I’m kind of a dirt bag. This premiere destination doesn’t come without a hefty price tag. You’ll have to dish out a pretty penny to get kinky in these sheets (which are 450 thread count, just saying) rates start from $355 a night. Felling frisky?
11 East Walton Street
Chicago , IL 60611
(312) 646-1300
Chicago , IL 60611
(312) 646-1300
UIC Pavilion Parking Lot (Top Lot)
Ok I’m sure I’ve provoked a bit of intrigue with this one, but the top of this parking lot offers excellent views of the surrounding city. If you get there at just about nightfall, and everyone’s cleared out the lot after the last event you’ve got yourself a gem of an experience. At the very least you will have created the sexiest rendezvous your mate has had in a long while. Pop her on the hood of the car and show her how awesome the skyline can look post coitous.
525 South Racine Avenue
Chicago , IL 60607-3303
(312) 413-5740
Chicago , IL 60607-3303
(312) 413-5740
The Violet Hour
I’m reluctantly writing about this one. This has to be one of the sexiest lounges in Chicago hands down, and I’m truly hesitant to share it. The outside of it makes it easy to miss, but once you walk through the doors you’re transported back in time to the pre prohibition era where the cocktails are strong and the lighting is low. You can hardly see anyone else in this UBER intimate setting heavily cloaked by dark velvet drapes, and high back club chairs that shield you from peering eyes. Have a few drinks, and play a little footsy. Tell your date to wear a skirt, and get creative. Fun times are sure to follow! Be very aware that entry is a gift, so if you’re not presentable you’ll get turned away.
1520 N Damen Ave
Chicago , Illinois 60622
(773) 252-1500
Chicago , Illinois 60622
(773) 252-1500
I’m no “sexpert” but I do enjoy a good time, and producing the “wow factor” so if you’re feeling randy, and would like to try something new, come up with a personal list. The options are limitless!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Scene
We're on to bigger and better things with the summer quickly approaching and decided to turn up the heat!
We now bring you "The Scene" at Sinibar located within The Shrine 2109 S.Wabash. For those of you who don't know or aren't quite familiar, The Shrine is THEE premiere entertainment venue in Chicago. It boasts appearances from a long list of celebrities including Jay-Z, Lebron James, Ludacris, Pharrell, Common, Quest Love, Teedra Moses, Amel Laruex, Eric Robeson, and many many more.
We now bring you "The Scene" at Sinibar located within The Shrine 2109 S.Wabash. For those of you who don't know or aren't quite familiar, The Shrine is THEE premiere entertainment venue in Chicago. It boasts appearances from a long list of celebrities including Jay-Z, Lebron James, Ludacris, Pharrell, Common, Quest Love, Teedra Moses, Amel Laruex, Eric Robeson, and many many more.
Now we play in the arena with the big boys, not subtlety so either, as we've had the pleasure of providing an awesome time for a little while now. We've shown and proved that we successfully get the party started so well that you leave hesitantly without wanting the night to end. So here's a thanks for all your support. A banging venue coupled with an highly coveted location, and a crowd that'll make you drool on sight. We do this, and we do it well. Don't watch on the outskirts, come be apart of "The Scene".
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Speak To What You Know.
Believe it or not, I went to church today. Which puts me in a position to preach to you (lol). I've been motivated to address an issue that's been on my mind....but I had been too lazy to bother.
JUDGMENT.
So the pastor took 2 seconds to talk about how even in church you get judged. They'll be lookin down upon the people who cry and shout and run up and down the aisles, talmbout "it don't take all that to praise god!" and such and so. But dude pointed out: You don't know WHAT the next person is going through. Maybe it doesn't take all that for YOU. Maybe you're sitting in the pew with a nice job, but the next person may not have worked for 3 years. Maybe your son is going to college in a few months, but the next person's son could be in Cook County Jail. Maybe you're in perfect health this Sunday, but the next person may have just finished chemotherapy on Friday. So then yeah, for THEM, it might take that much.
You don't know WHAT the fuck is going on with any person, with any situation, etc. So speak to what you know. Maybe she didn't finish school yet because she had to get 2 jobs to pay a mortgage and bills at age 18 because her mom was on drugs. Maybe she gained all that weight because she's sick and is on steroids. Maybe her girlfriend already knew she was at the club that night with So and So. You don't know a person's finances. A couple's arrangement. A person's LIFE.
And at the end of the day, why does it matter to you?
JUDGMENT.
So the pastor took 2 seconds to talk about how even in church you get judged. They'll be lookin down upon the people who cry and shout and run up and down the aisles, talmbout "it don't take all that to praise god!" and such and so. But dude pointed out: You don't know WHAT the next person is going through. Maybe it doesn't take all that for YOU. Maybe you're sitting in the pew with a nice job, but the next person may not have worked for 3 years. Maybe your son is going to college in a few months, but the next person's son could be in Cook County Jail. Maybe you're in perfect health this Sunday, but the next person may have just finished chemotherapy on Friday. So then yeah, for THEM, it might take that much.
You don't know WHAT the fuck is going on with any person, with any situation, etc. So speak to what you know. Maybe she didn't finish school yet because she had to get 2 jobs to pay a mortgage and bills at age 18 because her mom was on drugs. Maybe she gained all that weight because she's sick and is on steroids. Maybe her girlfriend already knew she was at the club that night with So and So. You don't know a person's finances. A couple's arrangement. A person's LIFE.
And at the end of the day, why does it matter to you?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Oh what tangeld webs we weave
Everyone knows that our community is not as vast as our straight counter parts, and because of this we may find ourselves intermingling from time to time. This of course can spark a myriad of different situations. Some may experience discomfort, disappointment, happiness, isolation, or even physical altercations.
My question is this. What sort of protocol does one follow when invisible lines are crossed, or tangled? People aren't property, even though we'd like to think of them as such. Despite our personal feelings, when will we come to terms with the fact that people come into our lives for different reasons, and most times they weren't made to be kept in one way or capacity for the entirety of that time.
I've seen friendships fade, war declared, and even battle royale due to misunderstandings or light being shed on past and current loves being had by another. I've come to terms with the fact that in my lifetime Ive probably dated, and will date at least a few people some of my associates have or will date. Its the inevitable, and I'm fine with it.
Admittedly there may be initial discomfort, but I'd eventually get over it, like I would most anything. I think we, especially as women in our community need to come to this realization as well. No need to kick up ruckus w/ the next man because of love lost. Or to be salty, we've all played the game, and it doesn't stop with the here and now. Shit just keeps spinning.
I've seen too many enemies made over dames. We're isolated enough already to create problems within. At the age of 15 when my grandmother found out I liked women, she told me not to bother. "Women are crazy enough alone, why be in a situation as a unit? You'd just kill each other". Sadly I see us gnawing at each other with the cattiness, and the snide behavior on a regular. We can do better. So yeah, we may be intertwined from time to time, but we can deal a lot better. Pairing up isn't the end all be all. Let's stop acting like it is.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
food for thought pt 2
this may ruffle some feathers. i look forward to it.
i was watching a Black in America special on CNN about Debt. interestingly enough, the whole episode was equally about church because Blacks are the most religious/faithful people in America (that's a real statistic - i kinda woulda thought it was Mexicans, but i guess not).
anyhoo. the common theme throughout the episode was that whatever wasn't understood at the moment was put "in God's hands." so it would seem to me that knowledge/information is directly correlated to what gets put in God's hands. and maybe the more you know, the less you have to take out of your own hands.
what say you?
i was watching a Black in America special on CNN about Debt. interestingly enough, the whole episode was equally about church because Blacks are the most religious/faithful people in America (that's a real statistic - i kinda woulda thought it was Mexicans, but i guess not).
anyhoo. the common theme throughout the episode was that whatever wasn't understood at the moment was put "in God's hands." so it would seem to me that knowledge/information is directly correlated to what gets put in God's hands. and maybe the more you know, the less you have to take out of your own hands.
what say you?
The Polo Sweater Theory: food for thought pt 1
just a little somethin my best friend shared with me yesterday:
men [and women, too, i guess] will be in need of dope clothing to keep them warm. so they'll go to TJ Maxx or Filene's (these aren't rich men, i guess lol) and lo and behold: a dope ass Polo sweater. it's classic. it's timeless. it's expensive. but it's quality. however, they'll put it on layaway. they'll put that minimum amount of money down to start it up. and they'll put the minimum down per month - just enough to keep it going. just enough so that no one else can see, let alone buy, the sweater.
in the meantime, he [or she] still needs to put SOMETHIN on. so he'll go over to the bargain bin and grab a Polo tshirt for $5. it's still Polo. even though it's not warm. it has way less swag potential. and really the only thing making it barely acceptable is the Polo horse stitched on the side. but whatever. who are we to judge.
so what happens to the Polo sweater? maybe he eventually buys it. maybe he misses a payment and it goes back on the racks (i don't fuckin know how layaway works). maybe someone catches a glimpse of it while paying for something else and decides it's dope enough to steal and buy it NOW. who knows.
men [and women, too, i guess] will be in need of dope clothing to keep them warm. so they'll go to TJ Maxx or Filene's (these aren't rich men, i guess lol) and lo and behold: a dope ass Polo sweater. it's classic. it's timeless. it's expensive. but it's quality. however, they'll put it on layaway. they'll put that minimum amount of money down to start it up. and they'll put the minimum down per month - just enough to keep it going. just enough so that no one else can see, let alone buy, the sweater.
in the meantime, he [or she] still needs to put SOMETHIN on. so he'll go over to the bargain bin and grab a Polo tshirt for $5. it's still Polo. even though it's not warm. it has way less swag potential. and really the only thing making it barely acceptable is the Polo horse stitched on the side. but whatever. who are we to judge.
so what happens to the Polo sweater? maybe he eventually buys it. maybe he misses a payment and it goes back on the racks (i don't fuckin know how layaway works). maybe someone catches a glimpse of it while paying for something else and decides it's dope enough to steal and buy it NOW. who knows.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Menace II Sobriety
"Menace II Sobriety" @ Ole Lounge 2812 N Lincoln. Every Friday starting Feb 25th
This is for the ALL the FAMILY.
GUYS, GALS, FAGS, FAG HAGS, HE'S, SHE'S, QUESTIONABLES, THE KIDZ, BOIZ, STUDS, STEMS, & LAWD HAVE MERCY FEMMES! Its the opportunity to end your work/school week with a BANG! DJ Gemini Jones is providing an eclectic blend of tunes for your listening pleasure, while we give you all the fuckery you can handle!
This is for the ALL the FAMILY.
GUYS, GALS, FAGS, FAG HAGS, HE'S, SHE'S, QUESTIONABLES, THE KIDZ, BOIZ, STUDS, STEMS, & LAWD HAVE MERCY FEMMES! Its the opportunity to end your work/school week with a BANG! DJ Gemini Jones is providing an eclectic blend of tunes for your listening pleasure, while we give you all the fuckery you can handle!
...
Menace II Sobriety
Fri Feb 25th (and every Fri after)
Ole Lounge
2812 N. Lincoln (right off Diversy)
***WHAT TO WEAR?***
COME CLEAN AS DISH DETERGENT, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE W/ A BOO OR KEEP THE ONE ON YOUR ARM ALREADY...
9pm-2am
21+
$10 entry after 11pm w/ RSVP
$10 ALL NIGHT w/o
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
Drink Specials!!!!!
$150 Hennessy bottles
$100 Grey Goose bottles
$6 Cosmos
$5 Corona / Patron shots
$4 Gin & Juice
_Book your birthday party with us, and receive a complimentary bottle of Champagne!_
Contact us:
lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
@lesbifriendschi
Menace II Sobriety
Fri Feb 25th (and every Fri after)
Ole Lounge
2812 N. Lincoln (right off Diversy)
***WHAT TO WEAR?***
COME CLEAN AS DISH DETERGENT, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE W/ A BOO OR KEEP THE ONE ON YOUR ARM ALREADY...
9pm-2am
21+
$10 entry after 11pm w/ RSVP
$10 ALL NIGHT w/o
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
Drink Specials!!!!!
$150 Hennessy bottles
$100 Grey Goose bottles
$6 Cosmos
$5 Corona / Patron shots
$4 Gin & Juice
_Book your birthday party with us, and receive a complimentary bottle of Champagne!_
Contact us:
lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
@lesbifriendschi
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
SWEET HEAT 2011
If you havent heard, you need to inform yourselves NOW. The illest time of your lives will commence May 12th- May 15th. I call it Disney World for adults, you might just call it heaven. Either way reservations need to be made ASAP as to not miss out on whats most certainly the hottest lesbian event you'll experience EVER! Visit http://sweetheatmiami.net/ for more details.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Oprah does it with the lights on...
ahh journaling!
the beauty of getting your mental/emotional excrement out in silence so your friends don't have to sit through those regularly scheduled 2ante meridiem phone calls.
you know the ones...you're crying in the corner of some strangers studio apartment because Jameson and Jack have left you stranded on the wrong side of reason & responsibility.
so put that smartphone down...you know good and damn well your friends aren't picking you up from 71st and wherever-the-fuck, no one on twitter cares and your battery is dying.
get your alcoholic ass a pen and paper and into said strangers bano and you write!
contrary to popular misconceptions, journaling is not just for unhappy housewives and people going through involuntary abstinence anymore-oh no, honey, it's for the kids!... the butcher, the baker, annnd the candlestick maker. it's therapeutic, almost baptismal (although I wouldn't know anything about that seeing as though one of my parents lived in a tree from 1975-78...shit like that just doesn't mix well w/organized religion) # POW #JOURNALentrytopic right there twitches!
you'll soon get a sense of how fucked up your life is by the degree of lacrimation (not to be confused with lactation) streaming down those rosy cheeks.
so do yourself a favor and let yo souuuulll GLOW! pick up a pen and write my friends! about what?! you might ask...well, how about that time your mom lost you in the grocery store and just said, "fuck it" after 25mins...how did that make u feel? not good, huh : / Or that time uncle tom got you really drunk at the family reunion when u were only 14. fuck yea! that uncle tom's a cool guy...
Below is an excerpt from a book (a big one) & one of my favorite stream of consciousness-esq pieces. because we all know that rigidity and form suck when u have adult adhd! it reminds me of someones journal entry (if that someone was a neurotic and indecisivee air sign) so enjoy. and remember, Express yo'self!
"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.
I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.
I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.
I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
- Neil Gaiman (American Gods)
the beauty of getting your mental/emotional excrement out in silence so your friends don't have to sit through those regularly scheduled 2ante meridiem phone calls.
you know the ones...you're crying in the corner of some strangers studio apartment because Jameson and Jack have left you stranded on the wrong side of reason & responsibility.
so put that smartphone down...you know good and damn well your friends aren't picking you up from 71st and wherever-the-fuck, no one on twitter cares and your battery is dying.
get your alcoholic ass a pen and paper and into said strangers bano and you write!
contrary to popular misconceptions, journaling is not just for unhappy housewives and people going through involuntary abstinence anymore-oh no, honey, it's for the kids!... the butcher, the baker, annnd the candlestick maker. it's therapeutic, almost baptismal (although I wouldn't know anything about that seeing as though one of my parents lived in a tree from 1975-78...shit like that just doesn't mix well w/organized religion) # POW #JOURNALentrytopic right there twitches!
you'll soon get a sense of how fucked up your life is by the degree of lacrimation (not to be confused with lactation) streaming down those rosy cheeks.
so do yourself a favor and let yo souuuulll GLOW! pick up a pen and write my friends! about what?! you might ask...well, how about that time your mom lost you in the grocery store and just said, "fuck it" after 25mins...how did that make u feel? not good, huh : / Or that time uncle tom got you really drunk at the family reunion when u were only 14. fuck yea! that uncle tom's a cool guy...
Below is an excerpt from a book (a big one) & one of my favorite stream of consciousness-esq pieces. because we all know that rigidity and form suck when u have adult adhd! it reminds me of someones journal entry (if that someone was a neurotic and indecisivee air sign) so enjoy. and remember, Express yo'self!
"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.
I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.
I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.
I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
- Neil Gaiman (American Gods)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Barely Legal
In honour (that's the refined British way of spelling) of the new LesbiFriends Junior League Parties (18 to cum, 21 to swallow ftw), I present to you: [Not Quite] Jail Bait!
Indulge! They look young, so you feel dirty... but they're 18 and up, so you don't feel like a criminal. Thank me later.
After you're done browsing the pics, check below for some fun statutory rape laws. It's my duty to find those loopholes for you*
gracie carvalho, 20
bria murphy, 20
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Big K.R.I.T. - Hometown Hero - Written and Produced by BIG K.R.I.T.
Ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way...on to the actual point of the last post. That REAL, son! enjoy...no no 4real this time.
Debauchery
Ok, I love bad bitches, patron and cheese grits [non a la Al Green] in the a.m. from anonymous one-night stands as much as the next homosapien; however, I’m getting bad gas just thinking about these male centric tropes being so heavily marketed into my very ordinary life. Why yes, I am sir, a pimp in my own mind, but that’s sadly as far as it goes.
Sometimes, I’d just like to listen to a track that makes me feel good about my mundane 9-5, my mutherf*cking khakis from Indonesian infant hands (the GAP) and my Chicago Transit Card -yeah, I gots credit, hoe! Is that alright w/u Ricky Rozay? Can I get a song about my 3.5 star chick who loves me for me! shyyyyt. Soccer mom ass all day, but I gets it!...oh I gets it.
No no, I understand- wooowhoo, life’s a party when u have cool tattoos, free weed, no need for food stamps and the infamous “Red Bone” (who I hear is now going by “Yellow Bone” #kanyeshrug) on your arm. Whatevz, Beamer Benz, Bentley *cough* Hyundai…fuck it, I keeps it real. So I’m gonna put up some REAL shit, about REAL NIGGAZ doing REAL THANGS! I apologize to all of the readers who’ve buried the ‘N’ word along with Jesse Jackson. Yes, I know it sounded like Jesse was buried as well, I’m not a writer, fuck u. Anywho, I digress…
You might be rolling your eyes in contempt thinking, B*tch! Get on to the point. Oh I’ma tell yall the muthaeffin point. For the two of you who are still keeping up with me, I’d like to veer away from these monotonous images/sounds so often found in entertainment *holler if you hear me* and move back to the actual music. I want to hear an artist’s …oh I don’t know, ART! [Mahalia Jackson sings in background -Jesus gives thumbs up] Jesus and I are sick of having substance substituted with finely manufactured visual tea bagging. Yea, your beats make me feel like I could run a small gang in Englewood and make it tsunami in the club, but you ain’t talkin’ bout SHIT, homie! I’m saying, the audio-visual fucking is getting out of hand, ostentatious if u will. One too many nuts-a-bustin’.
I’m all about the appeal of your #thuglife, but let’s just be honest for a moment and admit some things, shall we?
1.You weren’t breast fed as a child/moms called u, “that dumb muthafucka” and in turn, u over-indulge in beautiful women who go by several names, “bitch, shut up: (1st, middle, last)” being one of them.
2. You also secretly prefer same sex relationships…it’s all good, I do too, no judgment here.
3. You’re not packing where it counts so u have one too many guns (T.I.) and further compensate with cars, jewelry, bad ass white women (kanye) to hide said same sex attraction (umm…Kanye).
But sometimes, friends (dramatic pause-harpsichord plays) we have to get back to the real world and remember real shit goes down out here in these skreets… and I ain’t talking bout Waka Flocka Flames video getting abruptly stopped by the pigs (poor thing-pets pseudo-locks) I’m talking about Nas-real, Jean Grae-real, Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik-real, Mary J. Blige on that crizack-real*heads nod for reassurance*
That being said, enjoy some good tunes, some of you might of heard this classic before and some of you not so much, but it’s here for your listening pleasure and I hope you enjoy ☺
And remember, ‘I ain’t gotta rap.’
Check out the link below...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM9K6KwpWTg
Sometimes, I’d just like to listen to a track that makes me feel good about my mundane 9-5, my mutherf*cking khakis from Indonesian infant hands (the GAP) and my Chicago Transit Card -yeah, I gots credit, hoe! Is that alright w/u Ricky Rozay? Can I get a song about my 3.5 star chick who loves me for me! shyyyyt. Soccer mom ass all day, but I gets it!...oh I gets it.
No no, I understand- wooowhoo, life’s a party when u have cool tattoos, free weed, no need for food stamps and the infamous “Red Bone” (who I hear is now going by “Yellow Bone” #kanyeshrug) on your arm. Whatevz, Beamer Benz, Bentley *cough* Hyundai…fuck it, I keeps it real. So I’m gonna put up some REAL shit, about REAL NIGGAZ doing REAL THANGS! I apologize to all of the readers who’ve buried the ‘N’ word along with Jesse Jackson. Yes, I know it sounded like Jesse was buried as well, I’m not a writer, fuck u. Anywho, I digress…
You might be rolling your eyes in contempt thinking, B*tch! Get on to the point. Oh I’ma tell yall the muthaeffin point. For the two of you who are still keeping up with me, I’d like to veer away from these monotonous images/sounds so often found in entertainment *holler if you hear me* and move back to the actual music. I want to hear an artist’s …oh I don’t know, ART! [Mahalia Jackson sings in background -Jesus gives thumbs up] Jesus and I are sick of having substance substituted with finely manufactured visual tea bagging. Yea, your beats make me feel like I could run a small gang in Englewood and make it tsunami in the club, but you ain’t talkin’ bout SHIT, homie! I’m saying, the audio-visual fucking is getting out of hand, ostentatious if u will. One too many nuts-a-bustin’.
I’m all about the appeal of your #thuglife, but let’s just be honest for a moment and admit some things, shall we?
1.You weren’t breast fed as a child/moms called u, “that dumb muthafucka” and in turn, u over-indulge in beautiful women who go by several names, “bitch, shut up: (1st, middle, last)” being one of them.
2. You also secretly prefer same sex relationships…it’s all good, I do too, no judgment here.
3. You’re not packing where it counts so u have one too many guns (T.I.) and further compensate with cars, jewelry, bad ass white women (kanye) to hide said same sex attraction (umm…Kanye).
But sometimes, friends (dramatic pause-harpsichord plays) we have to get back to the real world and remember real shit goes down out here in these skreets… and I ain’t talking bout Waka Flocka Flames video getting abruptly stopped by the pigs (poor thing-pets pseudo-locks) I’m talking about Nas-real, Jean Grae-real, Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik-real, Mary J. Blige on that crizack-real*heads nod for reassurance*
That being said, enjoy some good tunes, some of you might of heard this classic before and some of you not so much, but it’s here for your listening pleasure and I hope you enjoy ☺
And remember, ‘I ain’t gotta rap.’
Check out the link below...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM9K6KwpWTg
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Lesbifriends "Junior League"
We heard your requests, and realized the young lgbt community has been missing the opportunity to partake in shenanigans with us so we've created the Junior League! The Junior League will host 18+ events so you barely legals can experience what you've been missing. Guys, and gals these events are for everyone!
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