Thursday, May 27, 2010

pain is love (haha that's a ja rule** album title)

clap clap clap
from the back back back
smack smack smack
when I act like that
she react right back pullin on
the sheets the pillows the dresser the covers the mattress
the passion makin love
girl you're scratchin me up...
(c) Trey Songz

I'm curious: when sex is intense for you... do you inflict pain? Do you like pain to be inflicted? Do you scratch? Bite? Do you like to be choked (if so, what the hell is your safety word - PLEASE tell me you have one lol)? Do you like your hair pulled? Or are you like one of my fellow LesbiFriends* who refuses to have sex without her hair tied up because she doesn't want her locs to "get fuzzy?" Do you like her to smack your ass?

While on the subject of pain, here's another question I've had for a while: are you a fan of either of these phrases:
  • beat it up
  • bust it open
  • bust it WIDE open

[wait.] on some silly shit I just went to urbandictionarydotcom, just to see what fuckery they would warm my heart with, and here are a couple of gems:

beat it up:

  1. to be on the giving end of a sexual encounter (short for "beat up the pussy" or for you fudge packers and freaks out there "beat up the ass").
  2. When a guy "beats up" the pussy... or "knocks the bottom outta the pussy"... in other words... knows how to hit it right.

I have now learned a new phrase and I'm making it the PHRASE OF THE DAY [insert gleeful laughter here]. So whenever you hear someone say "knock the bottom out the pussy" within these coming 24 hours, scream like crazy!


*5 metaphoric gold stars for you if you guess the right LesbiFriend

** and AGAIN I must ask: did Ja Rule really happen??

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Sunday, May 9, 2010

gotta keep it trill

Friday, May 7, 2010

cool right?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Say Aah

So a friend of mine was out and about on a Sunday morning, doing wholesome and innocent biddings (as one should do on a Sunday morning), when she was approached by a nice looking older gentleman. He skipped all small talk and cut to the chase: Do you want a sugar daddy? Of course, her interest was piqued and she demanded to know more. He explained that he loves a chocolate woman, specifically one with curves as curvy as hers [insert more seconds of flattery here] and in return, all he would like for her to do after having her way with Apple or Marc Jacobs or whomever may tickle her fancy… is to tickle his taste buds by “using the bathroom in his mouth."

Now I don’t know about YOU but MY mind is racing a mile a minute.
Here are my conclusions on the matter:
  1. He may use the Sugar Daddy plot to lure women to his home, where he then chops their bodies into little pieces – before or after they indulge his excrement fetish. And he may or may not do unmentionable things to the tiny pieces (I won’t shock and appall you with just how outlandish my mind works by going into further detail).
  2. He may be an otherwise normal man, aside from a probably-not-so-rare fetish, and he realizes that most women aren’t down for such behavior… but also realizes most people will do anything for the right price.
And here’s my side note about R. Kelly and other similar pedophiles: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the best (and most cost effective) way for men with this sort of penchant for human waste to get what they need would be the underdeveloped mind of an undeveloped minor girl. Because once you get older you start being burdened with bothersome things like morals, self respect, and concern for hygiene. They have no choice but to try to get to these young chicks quick before they’re tainted with sense and sensibility!

Enough about them though. Let’s talk about you. What are your thoughts on golden showers and such? And since we all know that everyone has a price… what’s yours?

Sunday, May 2, 2010