LesbiFriends Ain't Chi

Blessings bestowed upon thee

2011-10-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

Just because herbals and the beat for this track are two of my favorite things.

Something Wicked (& mad gay) This Way Comes

2011-10-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

**CLICK**

"Gangstaz Only"

2011-09-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

DADT

2011-09-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of the discriminatory Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy that banned lesbian, gay and bisexual men and women from serving openly in the armed services because their presence would "create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

Thoughts?

Hall of Shame

2011-09-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

In lieu of Menace II Sobriety. We decided to take a trip down memory lane. For a second I thought about posting a "Hall of Shame" album with all our fave Lesbifriends caught slipping......but I don't feel like getting jumped this week by a mob of angry women because I posted pics of them with their ass out, or tongue wrestling with some random in the bathroom. I would however like to keep the momentum, and share a few tales of my most wasted experiences.

Jan "05" I was at Jackson State University playing my beloved "spoons" game with a most DREADFUL elixir called TAAKA VODKA. Id never heard of it before but when you're 20, and jobless in Jackson Mississippi all drank is good drank. Plus my new friends assured me they'd had it b4 and all was well. I met a few buddies at some random football players house that one of them was screwing at the time, and he matched the drink with pink KOOL-AID of all things. YES I said pink! Who the fuck knows what flavor pink kool-aid is anyway? Pink Lemonade? Kiwi-Strawberry? Peach? I dismissed the idea that this mystery drink was dangerous because it had to be watered down now with all the pink sugar water, so I dove in and threw caution to the wind.

6 blunts, 5 failed spoons games, and endless chugging of cotton candy flavored oil in my gut later and we've got a problem. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, only to apparently wake up 30 minutes later looking up to two tall, muscle bodied JSU football players standing on the softest bathroom rug my face ever felt. I was done. It was one of those situations when people describe an outer body experience. I was aware of everything that was happening, but couldn't do anything about it. It was like being in the bleachers watching my own show. My body couldn't function. They picked me up off the floor, each took one of my arms and threw it over their shoulders, and it was a sweet gesture. They told me it was ok......until I started PROJECTILE style vomiting all over their pretty little cream & tan decor. It landed on the carpet, the white walls, the lamp shades, and curtains. Swear I've never seen such an assault on someones home. I had slurred speech, closed eyes, and the biggest grin (so I was told). All I could hear since I was semi-conscious is please don't throw up in my Jeep in a worried tone repeated until we arrived at my dorm.

Needless to say I was around some decent people. Aside from the fact that they allowed me to drink rubbing alcohol, and pass out. I didn't get gang-banged by 6'2 linebackers, and everyone made sure I got home safe and sound.

Go All The Way!

2011-09-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

The LesbiFriends have eleventy million awesome & amazing new things on the horizon. First thing: we're extra excited to announce that All The Way Kay has just hopped on as The Official LesbiFriends DJ! This means that more often than not you will be seeing her face, and most importantly hearing her skills, at some point at each LesbiFriends event starting at the end of next month.

Kay is dope, definitely original, uber talented, AND she's cute - pretty much the essence of The LesbiFriends brand. The shit just makes sense.

Be sure to follow her on Twitter @AllTheWayKay

Follow the rest of the crew @DenimDown @iQ2ent @LaurMajesty @ToneeMacara (who happens to never tweet from that account but follow it just so it looks like you're following a lot of people lol)

And of course follow the main account @LesbiFriendsChi

Rihanna Gets Down To Almost Nothing

2011-09-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

Just like we like her: damn near naked, in the back seat of a dope car.

Thank you Emporio Armani for this ad campaign! Damn you Stylist for that wig!

More pics below

ILL SHIT ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON

2011-08-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

We're co-hosting a live concert at The Shrine This Thursday!!!!!

2011-07-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

Thursday Night We're Co-Hosting

A Special Edition of

THE SCENE

@THE SHRINE!!!

2109 S. WABASH

CHICAGO, IL

FEATURING A LIVE PERFORMANCE BY

CHICAGO'S OWN...

PEVEN EVERETT

TICKETS ARE ONLY $15 IN ADVANCE!!!

Buy your tickets here:

https://ticketdriver.com/shrine/buy/tickets?afc=VIXWEBF4

Roy Davis Jr Ft Peven Everett - Gabriel

LIVE DJ SETS BY:

DAVID PARGO &

DJ TONE B. NIMBLE

"Please respect that we have the right to refuse entry if your clothing

and/or attitude do not fit our code or the code of the venue.

Outside promotions unrelated to The Shrine or not affiliated with

B.BLYSS! Productions or Lesbifriends are not allowed on venue property. "

VIP & BOTTLE SERVICE AVAILABLE

Reserve Your Table

& Book Your Birthday Party by Calling: 312-753-5700 for reservations, or email vip@theshrinechicago.com

Lesbifriends Merch

2011-07-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

We've been wavering a while about producing some nice collectibles for the masses, and have decided to give you a taste of whats to come!

Stay posted, these pins will be available for purchase soon!

P.I.L.T.B

2011-07-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

Places I’d like to bone: Chicago Edition

With fornication on the forefront of my mind most days I figured I share a peak into “Ye Ol Dirty Brain” therein lies some of the most illicit, scandalous, filthy yet genius ideas known to man. Most of which Id be more than happy to demonstrate, but having a boo thang these days makes that a wee bit difficult.

Nonetheless it seemed fit to compile a list of places where you too can get it cracking. Add a taste of spontaneity to your lives. Grab your girl, dip, or breezy and give it whirl. The following would prove to be quite interesting if given the right “can do” attitude.

The Elysian Hotel

The entry to this place makes me feel like a 19^th Century Baron. The sculptures that meet your eyes upon arrival are gorgeous. Sexy chandeliers hover above you, and you haven’t even reached your room yet! The real kicker is the bathroom. Italian marble from floor to ceiling is serious eye candy. I drooled just looking at it. All I could see was splashing featuring slippery bodies in my mind, but again I’m kind of a dirt bag. This premiere destination doesn’t come without a hefty price tag. You’ll have to dish out a pretty penny to get kinky in these sheets (which are 450 thread count, just saying) rates start from $355 a night. Felling frisky?

11 East Walton Street
Chicago , IL 60611
(312) 646-1300

UIC Pavilion Parking Lot (Top Lot)

Ok I’m sure I’ve provoked a bit of intrigue with this one, but the top of this parking lot offers excellent views of the surrounding city. If you get there at just about nightfall, and everyone’s cleared out the lot after the last event you’ve got yourself a gem of an experience. At the very least you will have created the sexiest rendezvous your mate has had in a long while. Pop her on the hood of the car and show her how awesome the skyline can look post coitous.

525 South Racine Avenue
Chicago , IL 60607-3303
(312) 413-5740

The Violet Hour

I’m reluctantly writing about this one. This has to be one of the sexiest lounges in Chicago hands down, and I’m truly hesitant to share it. The outside of it makes it easy to miss, but once you walk through the doors you’re transported back in time to the pre prohibition era where the cocktails are strong and the lighting is low. You can hardly see anyone else in this UBER intimate setting heavily cloaked by dark velvet drapes, and high back club chairs that shield you from peering eyes. Have a few drinks, and play a little footsy. Tell your date to wear a skirt, and get creative. Fun times are sure to follow! Be very aware that entry is a gift, so if you’re not presentable you’ll get turned away.

1520 N Damen Ave
Chicago , Illinois 60622
(773) 252-1500

I’m no “sexpert” but I do enjoy a good time, and producing the “wow factor” so if you’re feeling randy, and would like to try something new, come up with a personal list. The options are limitless!

The Scene

2011-05-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

We're on to bigger and better things with the summer quickly approaching and decided to turn up the heat!
We now bring you "The Scene" at Sinibar located within The Shrine 2109 S.Wabash. For those of you who don't know or aren't quite familiar, The Shrine is THEE premiere entertainment venue in Chicago. It boasts appearances from a long list of celebrities including Jay-Z, Lebron James, Ludacris, Pharrell, Common, Quest Love, Teedra Moses, Amel Laruex, Eric Robeson, and many many more.

Now we play in the arena with the big boys, not subtlety so either, as we've had the pleasure of providing an awesome time for a little while now. We've shown and proved that we successfully get the party started so well that you leave hesitantly without wanting the night to end. So here's a thanks for all your support. A banging venue coupled with an highly coveted location, and a crowd that'll make you drool on sight. We do this, and we do it well. Don't watch on the outskirts, come be apart of "The Scene".

Speak To What You Know.

2011-04-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I went to church today. Which puts me in a position to preach to you (lol). I've been motivated to address an issue that's been on my mind....but I had been too lazy to bother.

JUDGMENT.

So the pastor took 2 seconds to talk about how even in church you get judged. They'll be lookin down upon the people who cry and shout and run up and down the aisles, talmbout "it don't take all that to praise god!" and such and so. But dude pointed out: You don't know WHAT the next person is going through. Maybe it doesn't take all that for YOU. Maybe you're sitting in the pew with a nice job, but the next person may not have worked for 3 years. Maybe your son is going to college in a few months, but the next person's son could be in Cook County Jail. Maybe you're in perfect health this Sunday, but the next person may have just finished chemotherapy on Friday. So then yeah, for THEM, it might take that much.

You don't know WHAT the fuck is going on with any person, with any situation, etc. So speak to what you know. Maybe she didn't finish school yet because she had to get 2 jobs to pay a mortgage and bills at age 18 because her mom was on drugs. Maybe she gained all that weight because she's sick and is on steroids. Maybe her girlfriend already knew she was at the club that night with So and So. You don't know a person's finances. A couple's arrangement. A person's LIFE.

And at the end of the day, why does it matter to you?

Oh what tangeld webs we weave

2011-04-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that our community is not as vast as our straight counter parts, and because of this we may find ourselves intermingling from time to time. This of course can spark a myriad of different situations. Some may experience discomfort, disappointment, happiness, isolation, or even physical altercations.

My question is this. What sort of protocol does one follow when invisible lines are crossed, or tangled? People aren't property, even though we'd like to think of them as such. Despite our personal feelings, when will we come to terms with the fact that people come into our lives for different reasons, and most times they weren't made to be kept in one way or capacity for the entirety of that time.

I've seen friendships fade, war declared, and even battle royale due to misunderstandings or light being shed on past and current loves being had by another. I've come to terms with the fact that in my lifetime Ive probably dated, and will date at least a few people some of my associates have or will date. Its the inevitable, and I'm fine with it.

Admittedly there may be initial discomfort, but I'd eventually get over it, like I would most anything. I think we, especially as women in our community need to come to this realization as well. No need to kick up ruckus w/ the next man because of love lost. Or to be salty, we've all played the game, and it doesn't stop with the here and now. Shit just keeps spinning.

I've seen too many enemies made over dames. We're isolated enough already to create problems within. At the age of 15 when my grandmother found out I liked women, she told me not to bother. "Women are crazy enough alone, why be in a situation as a unit? You'd just kill each other". Sadly I see us gnawing at each other with the cattiness, and the snide behavior on a regular. We can do better. So yeah, we may be intertwined from time to time, but we can deal a lot better. Pairing up isn't the end all be all. Let's stop acting like it is.

SWEET HEAT MAY12TH-15TH 2011

2011-04-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

SWEET HEAT MAY12TH-15TH 2011

2011-03-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

Just because you may need a friendly reminder.

food for thought pt 2

2011-02-28T08:58:00.000-08:00

this may ruffle some feathers. i look forward to it.

i was watching a Black in America special on CNN about Debt. interestingly enough, the whole episode was equally about church because Blacks are the most religious/faithful people in America (that's a real statistic - i kinda woulda thought it was Mexicans, but i guess not).

anyhoo. the common theme throughout the episode was that whatever wasn't understood at the moment was put "in God's hands." so it would seem to me that knowledge/information is directly correlated to what gets put in God's hands. and maybe the more you know, the less you have to take out of your own hands.

what say you?

The Polo Sweater Theory: food for thought pt 1

2011-02-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

just a little somethin my best friend shared with me yesterday:

men [and women, too, i guess] will be in need of dope clothing to keep them warm. so they'll go to TJ Maxx or Filene's (these aren't rich men, i guess lol) and lo and behold: a dope ass Polo sweater. it's classic. it's timeless. it's expensive. but it's quality. however, they'll put it on layaway. they'll put that minimum amount of money down to start it up. and they'll put the minimum down per month - just enough to keep it going. just enough so that no one else can see, let alone buy, the sweater.

in the meantime, he [or she] still needs to put SOMETHIN on. so he'll go over to the bargain bin and grab a Polo tshirt for $5. it's still Polo. even though it's not warm. it has way less swag potential. and really the only thing making it barely acceptable is the Polo horse stitched on the side. but whatever. who are we to judge.

so what happens to the Polo sweater? maybe he eventually buys it. maybe he misses a payment and it goes back on the racks (i don't fuckin know how layaway works). maybe someone catches a glimpse of it while paying for something else and decides it's dope enough to steal and buy it NOW. who knows.

N.E.R.D. - Hot-n-Fun (Official Version) ft. Nelly Furtado

2011-02-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

Menace II Sobriety

2011-02-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

"Menace II Sobriety" @ Ole Lounge 2812 N Lincoln. Every Friday starting Feb 25th

This is for the ALL the FAMILY.
GUYS, GALS, FAGS, FAG HAGS, HE'S, SHE'S, QUESTIONABLES, THE KIDZ, BOIZ, STUDS, STEMS, & LAWD HAVE MERCY FEMMES! Its the opportunity to end your work/school week with a BANG! DJ Gemini Jones is providing an eclectic blend of tunes for your listening pleasure, while we give you all the fuckery you can handle!

...
Menace II Sobriety
Fri Feb 25th (and every Fri after)
Ole Lounge
2812 N. Lincoln (right off Diversy)

***WHAT TO WEAR?***
COME CLEAN AS DISH DETERGENT, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE W/ A BOO OR KEEP THE ONE ON YOUR ARM ALREADY...

9pm-2am
21+
$10 entry after 11pm w/ RSVP
$10 ALL NIGHT w/o

RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
RSVP for open bar & free entry b4 11pm at lesbifriendschi@gmail.com

Drink Specials!!!!!

$150 Hennessy bottles
$100 Grey Goose bottles
$6 Cosmos
$5 Corona / Patron shots
$4 Gin & Juice

_Book your birthday party with us, and receive a complimentary bottle of Champagne!_

Contact us:
lesbifriendschi@gmail.com
@lesbifriendschi

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

2011-02-16T10:58:00.000-08:00

SWEET HEAT 2011

2011-02-07T11:43:00.000-08:00

If you havent heard, you need to inform yourselves NOW. The illest time of your lives will commence May 12th- May 15th. I call it Disney World for adults, you might just call it heaven. Either way reservations need to be made ASAP as to not miss out on whats most certainly the hottest lesbian event you'll experience EVER! Visit http://sweetheatmiami.net/ for more details.

Oprah does it with the lights on...

2011-01-31T14:26:00.000-08:00

ahh journaling!
the beauty of getting your mental/emotional excrement out in silence so your friends don't have to sit through those regularly scheduled 2ante meridiem phone calls.

you know the ones...you're crying in the corner of some strangers studio apartment because Jameson and Jack have left you stranded on the wrong side of reason & responsibility.

so put that smartphone down...you know good and damn well your friends aren't picking you up from 71st and wherever-the-fuck, no one on twitter cares and your battery is dying.

get your alcoholic ass a pen and paper and into said strangers bano and you write!
contrary to popular misconceptions, journaling is not just for unhappy housewives and people going through involuntary abstinence anymore-oh no, honey, it's for the kids!... the butcher, the baker, annnd the candlestick maker. it's therapeutic, almost baptismal (although I wouldn't know anything about that seeing as though one of my parents lived in a tree from 1975-78...shit like that just doesn't mix well w/organized religion) # POW #JOURNALentrytopic right there twitches!

you'll soon get a sense of how fucked up your life is by the degree of lacrimation (not to be confused with lactation) streaming down those rosy cheeks.

so do yourself a favor and let yo souuuulll GLOW! pick up a pen and write my friends! about what?! you might ask...well, how about that time your mom lost you in the grocery store and just said, "fuck it" after 25mins...how did that make u feel? not good, huh : / Or that time uncle tom got you really drunk at the family reunion when u were only 14. fuck yea! that uncle tom's a cool guy...

Below is an excerpt from a book (a big one) & one of my favorite stream of consciousness-esq pieces. because we all know that rigidity and form suck when u have adult adhd! it reminds me of someones journal entry (if that someone was a neurotic and indecisivee air sign) so enjoy. and remember, Express yo'self!

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

- Neil Gaiman (American Gods)

Pac Div - Mayor

2011-01-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

Barely Legal

2011-01-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

In honour (that's the refined British way of spelling) of the new LesbiFriends Junior League Parties (18 to cum, 21 to swallow ftw), I present to you: [Not Quite] Jail Bait!

Indulge! They look young, so you feel dirty... but they're 18 and up, so you don't feel like a criminal. Thank me later.

After you're done browsing the pics, check below for some fun statutory rape laws. It's my duty to find those loopholes for you*

gracie carvalho, 20

bria murphy, 20

emanuela de paula, 21

montana fishburne**, 20

keke palmer, 18

zoe kravitz, 23

* just jokes, kiddies! the LesbiFriends do not in any way condone sex with minors under any circumstances. not even if you're R. Kelly (but we WILL still support your musical endeavors).

**montana fishburne is a filthy tramp; don't like her in real life. unless you like that sort of thing. who are we to judge!

___

FYI: age of consent in Idaho is 14. age of consent in Mexico is only 12 (sickos)!! In New York and [randomly] in Antigua, if you "believed" the person was of age, that's a valid defense. Saudi Arabia has NO legal age of consent. Happy Trails.

Big K.R.I.T. - Hometown Hero - Written and Produced by BIG K.R.I.T.

2011-01-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way...on to the actual point of the last post. That REAL, son! enjoy...no no 4real this time.

Debauchery

2011-01-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, I love bad bitches, patron and cheese grits [non a la Al Green] in the a.m. from anonymous one-night stands as much as the next homosapien; however, I’m getting bad gas just thinking about these male centric tropes being so heavily marketed into my very ordinary life. Why yes, I am sir, a pimp in my own mind, but that’s sadly as far as it goes.
Sometimes, I’d just like to listen to a track that makes me feel good about my mundane 9-5, my mutherf*cking khakis from Indonesian infant hands (the GAP) and my Chicago Transit Card -yeah, I gots credit, hoe! Is that alright w/u Ricky Rozay? Can I get a song about my 3.5 star chick who loves me for me! shyyyyt. Soccer mom ass all day, but I gets it!...oh I gets it.

No no, I understand- wooowhoo, life’s a party when u have cool tattoos, free weed, no need for food stamps and the infamous “Red Bone” (who I hear is now going by “Yellow Bone” #kanyeshrug) on your arm. Whatevz, Beamer Benz, Bentley *cough* Hyundai…fuck it, I keeps it real. So I’m gonna put up some REAL shit, about REAL NIGGAZ doing REAL THANGS! I apologize to all of the readers who’ve buried the ‘N’ word along with Jesse Jackson. Yes, I know it sounded like Jesse was buried as well, I’m not a writer, fuck u. Anywho, I digress…

You might be rolling your eyes in contempt thinking, B*tch! Get on to the point. Oh I’ma tell yall the muthaeffin point. For the two of you who are still keeping up with me, I’d like to veer away from these monotonous images/sounds so often found in entertainment *holler if you hear me* and move back to the actual music. I want to hear an artist’s …oh I don’t know, ART! [Mahalia Jackson sings in background -Jesus gives thumbs up] Jesus and I are sick of having substance substituted with finely manufactured visual tea bagging. Yea, your beats make me feel like I could run a small gang in Englewood and make it tsunami in the club, but you ain’t talkin’ bout SHIT, homie! I’m saying, the audio-visual fucking is getting out of hand, ostentatious if u will. One too many nuts-a-bustin’.

I’m all about the appeal of your #thuglife, but let’s just be honest for a moment and admit some things, shall we?
1.You weren’t breast fed as a child/moms called u, “that dumb muthafucka” and in turn, u over-indulge in beautiful women who go by several names, “bitch, shut up: (1st, middle, last)” being one of them.
2. You also secretly prefer same sex relationships…it’s all good, I do too, no judgment here.
3. You’re not packing where it counts so u have one too many guns (T.I.) and further compensate with cars, jewelry, bad ass white women (kanye) to hide said same sex attraction (umm…Kanye).

But sometimes, friends (dramatic pause-harpsichord plays) we have to get back to the real world and remember real shit goes down out here in these skreets… and I ain’t talking bout Waka Flocka Flames video getting abruptly stopped by the pigs (poor thing-pets pseudo-locks) I’m talking about Nas-real, Jean Grae-real, Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik-real, Mary J. Blige on that crizack-real*heads nod for reassurance*

That being said, enjoy some good tunes, some of you might of heard this classic before and some of you not so much, but it’s here for your listening pleasure and I hope you enjoy ☺

And remember, ‘I ain’t gotta rap.’

Check out the link below...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM9K6KwpWTg

Lesbifriends "Junior League"

2011-01-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

We heard your requests, and realized the young lgbt community has been missing the opportunity to partake in shenanigans with us so we've created the Junior League! The Junior League will host 18+ events so you barely legals can experience what you've been missing. Guys, and gals these events are for everyone!

Beauty of the Week

2010-12-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

Sorry we're a day late but we've got more eye candy coming your way. Introducing.....

Name: Brittany Ashton Martina
Age : 21

Info/fun fact: I'm a Junior at South Carolina State Univ. I'm a member of Delta Phi Delta national Dance Fraternity Inc.... I'm also an adult entertainer....and waiting to go to basic training for the Military. The simple things in life make me smile and I'm easily pleased by little things!!! lol i have a natural high!

Wait for it........

To be considered for next weeks edition of "Beauty of the Week" submit

Name

Age

Pic

Stats i.e. measurements (if you have them)

Info/fun facts about yourself

location

to lesbifriendschi@gmail.com by Sat Jan 1st midnight to be eligible for selection.

We will post our selection for beauty of the week every Mon here on http://lesbifriendsaintchi.blogspot.com/

Beauty of the Week

2010-12-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

2nd week in, and we have another cutie for ya!

Say hello to jail bait!

Name: Brittany Erin Trice
Age : 18
Stats i.e. measurements: 34, 30, 42
Info/fun facts: I love to watch movies, and give lap dances lol. I go to Lansing Community College. I study Theater and Massage Therapy. I enjoy making ppl laugh and have to a good time.
Location: Lansing, MI

Lap dances AND massages?!?

My mind is much too filthy to start on this one. All I can say is happy ending anyone?

To be considered for next weeks edition of "Beauty of the Week" submit

Name

Age

Pic

Stats i.e. measurements (if you have them)

Info/fun facts about yourself

location

to lesbifriendschi@gmail.com by Sat Dec 18th midnight to be eligible for selection.

We will post our selection for beauty of the week every Mon here on http://lesbifriendsaintchi.blogspot.com/

Pimp Shit on a Sunday Afternoon

2010-12-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

Watch DJ Quick shake his wrap in the video.....hahaha. Love it!

Beauty of the Week

2010-12-07T12:42:00.000-08:00

A day late, due to one of our Lesbifriends being stuck in class all night, but shes worth the wait! Say hello to our first Lesbifriends Beauty of the Week.

Name: Natty Plum

Age: 28

Stats: 36, 27, 36

Fun Fact: I like to dominate aggressive women, you can say I get off on it ; )

Location: Oakland, CA

Ladies go ahead and drool, she's a HOTTIE, and I'm thinking about flying to Cali just so she can dominate me! *rawr*

I think I need to be spanked lol

To be considered for next weeks edition of "Beauty of the Week" submit

Name

Age

Pic

Stats i.e. measurements (if you have them)

Info/fun facts about yourself

location

to lesbifriendschi@gmail.com by Sat Dec 11th midnight to be eligible for selection.

We will post our selection for beauty of the week every Mon here on http://lesbifriendsaintchi.blogspot.com/

Where Will You Move?

2010-12-07T10:11:00.000-08:00

As a Chicago-based LesbiFriend, I figured it was my duty to report that the Civil Unions Bill has recently been passed in Illinois. Civil unions provide legal recognition of gay couples and gives them some of the same benefits automatically available to married couples. This is awesome and amazing because 1) living in Chicago, it's easy to forget that Illinois is country as shit... so kudos to our fine state for being so progressive so quickly (not even 10 states in the union recognize gay marriage or any of its derivatives) and 2) this bill gives us the right to visit a sick partner in the hospital, control disposition of a deceased loved one's remains and make decisions about a loved one's medical care.

And now a quick pause for the cause...
Can you imagine what it must feel like to go through the trauma and the stress and the grief of watching your life partner deteriorate from, say, cancer... to be with her in the hospital night and day... to worry... to hope for the best... to have that hope not be enough... and then to have to step aside and let someone else handle the business of the way in which she departs this life because they, and not you, happen to be "her closest living relative?" Oh and by the way that relative is some asshole who doesn't respect your lifestyles, offered hardly any support, doesn't even really KNOW your partner because they were estranged, doesn't know her last wishes, doesn't fuck with YOU... but they get to pick when to pull the plug, if she will be buried or cremated, and how your name will appear in the obituary - if at all?

So good for Illinois for saving us from THAT drama. But lowkey, this bill wasn't passed only on the merit of doing what's right for gays. Senators stood up and argued for all unmarried couples in general. For senior citizens who didn't want to re-marry because it would disrupt their retirement/pension. For straight couples who love each other and co-habitate but that man just hasn't bothered to put a ring on it yet. I mean... everybody knows this is a big thing for gay people but in order to get the shit passed, that concern had to play the background. So, in this state, civil unions are an option for everyone - and they still don't afford the same rights as marriage.

Nor are they recognized everywhere. New York will respect your union no matter where it was created. But get married in Canada and it's completely worthless in Idaho. Or Kentucky. Or Florida. Or Indiana. Or Texas. Or...!

So moves need to be made. Literally and figuratively. What's your plan?

Get Your Cigarette Ready!!!

2010-12-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

I've stumbled along this extremely sexy new video from Raheem Devaughn.

I was surprised to this side of him,

but damn if he don't deserve some props for giving it to the masses.

We here at The Lesbifriends don't

discriminate, and big up anyone who gets it in properly. One of our affiliates who shall remain nameless really likes it, but she also wants to produce, and direct porn so she doesn't really count lol

Enjoy!

Someone You Should Know

2010-12-01T22:26:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since Ive been impressed musically with a new artist. All this commercial bullshit has

watered down my desire to seek new music. Ive reverted back to my throwback joints casually returning here and there when I'm in the club, and a banger is played.

Luckily I've stumbled upon a treasure..... SIYA.

Plainly put, she's cooked cracked, straight dope, and I'm wondering why I haven't heard more about this sleeping giant? Her wordplay, coupled with a crazy production team leaves you wanting more. Put up against any male MC that's newly been introduced to the game, and I'm confident she'd eat em for breakfast, if not stand side by side with them. She's bound to slide past any competition that dares to step in her way. XXL needs to get at her for the Freshman 10 a ya dig

The kid is tomboi fresh, sticking with her own image, tatted up donning Levi's tanks, and crew necks. I love it. Could she be more authentic? Very rarely do I find a female MC that I really fuck with, and as of late I've been bombarded with quite a few that try to take the cake, but fall short. While you guys are debating on this Nicki vs. Lil Kim nonsense you outta step back, and check for the real McCoy!

If you wanna learn more about SIYA check the links below

GOVERNEDBYLOYALTY.COM/SIYA

http://www.wix.com/imme06/SIYA

Submit Your Entry for Beauty of the Week

2010-11-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

If you're interested in being featured as The LesbiFriend's Beauty of the Week take a peek below. Don't be weary and assume this is only for the priss' in pumps as we all know we are diverse beautiful wo(men).

CALLING ALL:
lipstick
butch
versatile
femme
FTM

but honestly, no classification needed.

We Want YOU!

Submit your entries for Beauty of the Week!

We're accepting submissions for beauty of the week!
Send:

Name
Age
Pic
Stats i.e. measurements (if you have them)
Info/fun facts about yourself
location

to lesbifriendschi@gmail.com by Sat Dec 4th midnight to be eligible for selection.

We will post our selection for beauty of the week starting Mon Dec 6th, and every Mon thereafter on http://lesbifriendsaintchi.blogspot.com/

Good Luck,We look forward to your entries!
Credits to Ms. Ameena for finding this dope pic

Thank ya kindly

2010-11-25T09:49:00.000-08:00

Good Morning and Happy Thanksgiving.

Although the holiday celebrated is some bullshit, I do enjoy the togetherness it brings. This of course is followed by extreme dysfunction of that one aunt or uncle that will inevitably get wasted, and ruin what once was a pretty wholesome experience, but I digress. Lets take this time to go through a couple things The Lesbifriends are thankful for this year.

We are thankful for all the sexy boot wearing women that walk up and down Michigan Avenue during this shopping season. I don’t know what it is about a woman in boots, but it instantly gives them the “fuck me walk”. I was personally blessed with quite a few exchanging glances with me the other day. Even though said glances were probably because I was staring. Either way I enjoyed the smile, smirk or scowl I received.

We are thankful for this wintry season, because it’s when we all link up. This means regular sex. No need to go without during these cold months, the warmth between those legs will be in the bed always. Well, at least up until the impeding break up season that is summer arrives.

We are especially thankful that this semester is almost over, because quite frankly I need a fucking break!

We are thankful for my beloved Hennessy, which brings about the most awesome of times, and train wrecks. Without it I might not have the courage or smoothness to mack down all the hunnies.

Lastly we are thankful for all you beautiful jerks that patronize Lesbifriend events, and foolery.

Happy Turkey Day suckas! : p

Below is a little sexy to start the day.

Enjoy

Put Some Breaks On That U-Haul...

2010-10-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

A noble man once said, " Once a good girl's gone U-Haul, she's gone forever..." or something like that. I say to you, take heed! I mean, *ahem* not that we here at The LesbiFriends would have any such experience of our own, but observation is key to the science of this thing called life.

So let's discuss then, WHAT is U-Hauling? And WHY does it run so rampant? Have YOU U-Hauled lately? What is it about 2 women that makes them cling like 2 super charged magnets one moment, and repell the next?! Yes, feel free to share. Studies show U-Hauling is the leading cause of death among lesbian relationships, followed closely by the cancerous FriendlyEx Lymophoma, & IDidn'tReallyKnowThisBxtch Malignant Rumor. All of which are equally lethal if not picked up in their earliest stages. You read it right, I believe it can be rectified, saved even.

Ok, so maybe I have U-Hauled in my day, but I can't say that I regret it, only not making it work for the best for a person who could have very well been worth it. B-R-E-A-K was spelled that way in the post title for a reason... this post is not to do the usual berating of the U-Haul LesbiGeneration, but to help them save it... How? Well I'm glad you asked, Young Skywalker. Breaks. Yeah, I said it.Whether you intiate it, or are on the recieving end of that love-restraining order, go with it. I'm even guilty of throwing the word around myself, when I really meant "Break-UP" But don't be afraid lil' guy... I know it can be scary to some, but if used to its utmost potential, it can make your bond closer and stronger than before... or show you that you really didn't want it in the first place. Either way, you'll find yourself released from that purgatory you called a relationship. Time off could (and should) allow for major introspection, of self and the combing through of the finer details of the relationship.Yep, this is gonna require some alone time.

Step 1: Don't Push - A little resistance is good, shows you still care. Too much shows you only care about what you want. Moreover, its a great way to have your boo REALLY go get the U-Haul & un-U-Haul your situation. This applies from beginning to end (of break time)... You want 'em to miss you, not dismiss.

Step 2: Carve out some space - for you to be away, or alone, or at least quiet with your thoughts. Sort through, explore, examine, even cry a little. Don't be afraid to explore every inch of emotion you feel, you may not get the chance to again. Love has a short attention span and we can easily forget what once meant so much.

Step 3: Bust out your notebook - and do a good ol' PRO& CON list, feeling really spicy? A Venn Diagram. Seeing it on paper can really help. You won't know what you've got til' it gone. It's like that watch you love to wear, didn't know it was missing, til you started to look for it.

Step 4: Get out there - In the world kiddo, you haven't been in awhile. See what fancy new inventions are out, check in on those friends you had many moons ago, talk to strangers. You gotta give yourself permission to have fun and room to miss the one you're (kinda) with.

Step 5: Can't Stop, Won't Stop - Caring. It's easy to slip down the slope of resentment, but don't. Simple as that. You still love your boo (hopefully) and want the best for your both. Dream of being together, but don't despair over being apart.

This list can go on, but my dear Jedi, these are the main points. So may the force be with you Young Skywalker. You've made a happy home once, and if the U-Haul gods smile upon you, you can again. In the words or Yoda, "Holler back youngin'".

You knew it was coming.

2010-09-30T15:38:00.000-07:00

-Disclaimer- The Lesbifriends do not encourage, promote or uplift drug use of any particular drug. Drugs are very nasty, and addictive things to some. For others they can be the most incredible and amazing creations known to man. All that being said, act responsibly. We dont want you guys to end up in a three way in some back alley. Most of you are products of your parents expirimentations, and just look what happened there.

Now lets get on with the show!

I borrowed this concept from one of my favorite movies "The Boys' And Girls' Guide To Getting Down". Check it out. Its a classic in my book!

Lets get a littel Good vs. Bad going. Some claim all drugs are bad, be that as it may, there may be some advantages to some not so legal substances. Let the movie do the talking, click the link below. Enjoy!

2010-07-02T09:55:00.001-07:00

that is all.

The Afternoon Delight!

2010-06-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

Heeeeeeeelllllllo Ladies!

We're back up in the heezy baaaaby "Pride Style"! For your pleasure we present The Afternoon Delight. 2 YES we said 2 spaces of club to bounce and shake in. Flat screens with nothing but the dirtiest of movies, and a photo booth for you to capture all the drunk memories! DJ Rjated R Banging the beats!

After you enjoy all the colorful characters at the Pride Parade mosey on down to Risque where you can eat drink and choose one of our sexy singles to play "The Dating Game" with... we've personally hand picked all eligble bachelorettes, and if I may so, we've got some serious hotties *rawr*!

Oh and did we mention its FREE!!!!!!!!!!

The Afternoon Delight

Risque Cafe

3415/3419 N. Clark

***Sunday June 27th***

3pm-12am

21+

FREE

$5 Vodka lemonades (16oz)

$7 Finlandia Flavored vodka lemonade (16oz)

$5 patron shots

$2 Fish tacos

No need to thank us, the pleasure is all ours ; )

2010-06-01T19:54:00.001-07:00

pain is love (haha that's a ja rule** album title)

2010-05-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

clap clap clap
from the back back back
smack smack smack
when I act like that
she react right back pullin on
the sheets the pillows the dresser the covers the mattress
the passion makin love
girl you're scratchin me up...
(c) Trey Songz

I'm curious: when sex is intense for you... do you inflict pain? Do you like pain to be inflicted? Do you scratch? Bite? Do you like to be choked (if so, what the hell is your safety word - PLEASE tell me you have one lol)? Do you like your hair pulled? Or are you like one of my fellow LesbiFriends* who refuses to have sex without her hair tied up because she doesn't want her locs to "get fuzzy?" Do you like her to smack your ass?

While on the subject of pain, here's another question I've had for a while: are you a fan of either of these phrases:

beat it up
bust it open
bust it WIDE open

[wait.] on some silly shit I just went to urbandictionarydotcom, just to see what fuckery they would warm my heart with, and here are a couple of gems:

beat it up:

to be on the giving end of a sexual encounter (short for "beat up the pussy" or for you fudge packers and freaks out there "beat up the ass").
When a guy "beats up" the pussy... or "knocks the bottom outta the pussy"... in other words... knows how to hit it right.

I have now learned a new phrase and I'm making it the PHRASE OF THE DAY [insert gleeful laughter here]. So whenever you hear someone say "knock the bottom out the pussy" within these coming 24 hours, scream like crazy!

[yuuup!]

*5 metaphoric gold stars for you if you guess the right LesbiFriend

** and AGAIN I must ask: did Ja Rule really happen??

2010-05-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

2010-05-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

gotta keep it trill

2010-05-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

cool right?

Say Aah

2010-05-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

So a friend of mine was out and about on a Sunday morning, doing wholesome and innocent biddings (as one should do on a Sunday morning), when she was approached by a nice looking older gentleman. He skipped all small talk and cut to the chase: Do you want a sugar daddy? Of course, her interest was piqued and she demanded to know more. He explained that he loves a chocolate woman, specifically one with curves as curvy as hers [insert more seconds of flattery here] and in return, all he would like for her to do after having her way with Apple or Marc Jacobs or whomever may tickle her fancy… is to tickle his taste buds by “using the bathroom in his mouth."

Now I don’t know about YOU but MY mind is racing a mile a minute.
Here are my conclusions on the matter:

He may use the Sugar Daddy plot to lure women to his home, where he then chops their bodies into little pieces – before or after they indulge his excrement fetish. And he may or may not do unmentionable things to the tiny pieces (I won’t shock and appall you with just how outlandish my mind works by going into further detail).
He may be an otherwise normal man, aside from a probably-not-so-rare fetish, and he realizes that most women aren’t down for such behavior… but also realizes most people will do anything for the right price.

And here’s my side note about R. Kelly and other similar pedophiles: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the best (and most cost effective) way for men with this sort of penchant for human waste to get what they need would be the underdeveloped mind of an undeveloped minor girl. Because once you get older you start being burdened with bothersome things like morals, self respect, and concern for hygiene. They have no choice but to try to get to these young chicks quick before they’re tainted with sense and sensibility!

Enough about them though. Let’s talk about you. What are your thoughts on golden showers and such? And since we all know that everyone has a price… what’s yours?

2010-05-02T14:21:00.001-07:00

Love Lockdown

2010-04-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

So I’m at work watching Lockup: Extended Stay and this episode is titled “Love in Lockup”. The show begins to highlight different inmates in romantic relationships, and how the prison tries to prevent such relationships. The administration was asked by the production crew why they wanted to prevent these things, and they replied “it’s to keep confusion, and fights to a minimum”. This made me create a scenario, what if I got locked up? Granted I would have to be involved in some pretty illicit behavior in order to be sent to the clink, but really what if? Would I have a prison boo? Who knows, it’s a possibility that out of 20 convicted felons there’s a least 1 or 2 that’s kind of hot. I can go a step further and hope maybe they got sent there for a non violent crime like check fraud or identity theft. The possibilities are endless! Lol the truth is more than likely a lil bleaker though. My thoughts are there’s probably a high crack head to prostitute ratio in most facilities and not much else in between, so I’d just find Allah, read a ton, learn a bunch of big ass words no one knows, use them in regular convo, and call it a few years. What about you though? What would you guys do if you got sent up the river? Tell us!!!!

2010-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

Sadiyya Ameena

Put This On My iPod Pt1

2010-04-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

comedy.

Its all about YOU

2010-04-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Its spring, and we're doing a little cleaning. Lets just say we're straightening out a few things, and in doing so we hope to make bigger and better expereinces for you all. Tell us what you want from us, and please take FULL advantage. This opportunity dosent happen so often. (we usually like to do all the bossing around) Hook up the survey below, so we can find out all the things you need to get the party started RIIIIIIIGHT! http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RWDSLXY

Breaking my Heart

2010-04-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

As the summer approaches how many of you will be single?

Some people like to play house, and get cozy with a "special buddy" during the winter months, but as soon as the weather breaks your phone starts going to voicemail a lil too frequent than once before. Now enter the "I need space" conversation then...... *BOOM* you're back on the market without a hitch, and you now have availabilty to get at all the hot young trim the city has to offer.

Sound familair? Or is this just what I do? lol I kid....but in the spirit of break up season tell us your storys of "dump". Be it you killing some sweet girls dreams, a tale of your ex stomping on your heart, or you sticking it to that airhead bitch you used to date.....sorry I had a flashback. Either way we wanna hear them all. The person who provides the best "break up" story wins a special prize from us!

In McQueen's World

2010-03-13T08:54:00.000-08:00

Alexander McQueen has never failed at having a standoff-ish powerful impact on fashion. His strategy was impeccable and unfortunately he was one of the Greats to plead suicide. His clothes, or lets just say everything he touched told the WORLD, 'You can't fuck with me!' He deserves every recognition and even though people are still trying to figure this guy out, his latest collection for Autumn/Winter 2010 is by far the most bizaar and has left a personal yet timeless stamp on The World of Fashion. Haute Couture and High Couture at its Best. Using images of heavenly figures such as wings and angels, textures such as feathers and feathered heels!! It is a must-see if you are into Artsy Endeavors. He forever lives and that was his point. Move To Your Own Beat but don't kill yourself, unless that's something you're into. Love you McQueen.

Girl on Girl... @ The Shrine

2010-03-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

It's ladies nite... lucky for you...

Angie Mar is NOT on the mic.

The DJ's & the drinks BANG!

If you're lucky, you might too at the night's end.

Every Thursday.

Hosted by mi favorito chicas of F.A.M.E.

Beige & Faith

A Sweet Song For That Special Lady

2010-03-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

Today's Letter Kids is G

2010-03-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

domestic abuse

2010-02-16T19:50:00.000-08:00

disclaimer: this post will depart from the usual money cars clothes hoes fuckery; i apologize in advance.

apparently i would be hard pressed to find a lesbian who has not been a part of some sort of domestic foolery with her girlfriend. this is not me passing judgment. this is not me saying that i've never gone to Crobar, double fisted Moet and Patron for free thanks to Missy the bartender, come home in my skinny jeans and Coach sneakers, and slapped an unwanted house guest because she was reluctant to leave. this is not me being unable to recognize that to err is human. and to forgive is divine. but forgiving doesn't mean staying with or going back to her. this isn't me telling you what to do either. but it is me saying that, in my 28 years, no woman that i have ever loved* has ever punched me, choked me, muffed me, slapped me, kicked me, stomped me out... nothing. it is possible to keep it cute and respectable even when you're so mad you could spit fire. this isn't me implying that if she hits you she doesn't love you, either.

this is merely me saying that though it may have happened to you before, and the majority of women that you know... it doesn't happen to everyone and it doesn't have to happen to you again. #weoffthat #ontothenext

*there was that one time my mom choked me up against the bathroom wall when she found out i forged her name on something for school... but i digress.

they look nice and carefree here.

but you and i know what went down in that limo!

How many of us have them?

2010-01-29T22:26:00.001-08:00

I always love a good adventure.

AND AIN'T NOBODY FRESHER!

2010-01-29T20:23:00.001-08:00

I'm in Maison, Martin Margiela!! Shoe game!!

I'm In Miami B!!!!!!tch

2010-01-26T14:44:00.000-08:00

For all intents and purposes I'd like to give my winter coat the finger!

REAL NICE N BIG!

...And not the one followed by alil fellatious activity.

THE LESBIFRIENDS ARE INVADING MIAMI THIS WEEKEND.

HOLD YOUR HEAD AND BRACE YOUR NECK.

AND PLEASE BE READY TO BEND THAT BACK.

WE'RE JUKIN'!

Barbie Loves Her Accessories

2010-01-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

The subject of haute

2010-01-24T18:19:00.000-08:00

The Mafia of Fashion.

I only post this to inform you. The subject of Haute Couture and the perception "fashionistas" have taken has greatly disturbed me in a couple of ways in which I will explain in only Facts. If you have a “passion for fashion” this pertains to those of you that simply just don’t know. I just ask that you know your History.

First. Pronounce Check.

HAUTE |ōt| (or haut) Which we all should know means fashionably elegant or high-class. However, if you are conversing or thought that pronouncing the ‘H’ in Haute was okay, then you were misguided. The ‘H’ is silent, you know, just like the ‘H’ in herbs. The other night, I was watching a YouTube video of June Ambrose (Stylist) and I noticed, while all in her fabulosity, she kept sounding out the ‘H’ in Haute in her dialect. Yet to mention, throwing around the word Haute is a big No No in Fashion itself. Which brings me to the next fact...

Second. The Core Meaning of Haute Couture

Haute Couture is the most expensive garment there is on the planet. Why? Because of the preparation and the dedication. The best seamtresses sew every part, every seam of a dress by hand… Usually taking days to complete one dress BY HAND. Details is heavily defined when dealing with an Haute Couture piece. Not only sewing the dress by hand is a requirement to speak of Haute Couture, but the fabric itself is also why a garment would run you about a half a million dollars or more…Right. Haute Couture is a protected name used by only firms that meet certain well-defined standards. Simply Put. When I mentioned The Mafia Of Fashion, that is exactly what I meant. Considered the Father of Haute Couture, Charles Frederick Worth, wouldn’t be so pleased to hear how loosely and degrading some people have used the word ‘Haute’ or any Fashion House for that matter. In France, the term haute couture is protected by law and is defined by the Chambre de commerce et d'industrie de Paris. Their rules state that only "those companies mentioned on the list drawn up each year by a commission domiciled at the Ministry for Industry are entitled to avail themselves" of the label haute couture. The criteria for haute couture were established in 1945 and updated in 1992.

The Phuckery Revival

2010-01-23T15:26:00.001-08:00

So your local superhomos, The LesbiFriends,

invaded Plush Ultra Lounge and well...

Phuckery by the boat load.

...while we have your undivided attention...

just wanna keep you abreast of whats next.

:: 02.14.10 ::

STUPID CUPID

make up or break up

:: 02.14.10 ::

we'll have a live band jam sessionin' w/ a DJ...

you prolly wont wanna miss it.

#TRACKLEGS

Everyone But Beyonce III

2010-01-18T15:48:00.000-08:00

Ebony Thomas

Ebony is the lead singer of the British, afro-punk band Ebony Bones.

songwriter ♪ record producer ♪ self-taught musician

QUIET!

She has something to SAY!

'...a majority of music in the mainstream world is about nothing'

(Enjoy)

PS, They'll be here in ChicaGO 2/6/20X @ The Green Dolphin.

(I think you should come)

-bearhugs & sweetkisses

raindrops (them oohs, them ahhs)

2010-01-13T12:26:00.000-08:00

if you thought you had a good time at a strip club before, take a trip to magic city so you can realize you never knew what good was. chum it up with the 400lbs bouncer who will try to befriend you, after sending you back to your car because he found the camera you thought you could sneak in. make a bee line for the bar and spend 15 minutes deciding between the high priced shots or a bottle, whilst being distracted by the bartender's melons (she will put your debit card and ID between them if you keep your tab open). grab a seat front & center and prepare to be amazed, fall in love, spend your rent money, and get high off contact.

tight weave. flat stomachs. double clit rings. thigh high boots. soft skin. straight teeth. track legz.

pick out your favorite chick and spoil her (you can't afford to make it rain on all the hoes, grasshopper; simmer down). keep your legs open and lean back while she gets low before your very eyes. engage in witty banter with the MC who will stand in front of you and demand (on the mic) that you tip the girls puttin on the lesbo show just for you. and he will keep an eye out for what brand the bag is that you're carrying so don't try to front like you're broke - he knows best. be impressed as the ass cheeks move individually to the beat.

pole tricks. poppin on headstands. the dollars rain. the bass pulsates. this... is heaven.

The LesbiFriends may be takin a roadtrip for ATL Pride 2010. keep your fingers crossed.

The Head Game Follies Pt. 1

2010-01-09T13:11:00.000-08:00

We’ve all been there.

You meet, you’re attracted, you chit and chat, get to know one another. You think she’s amazing, and then…..you have sex.

Wiggedy Wiggedy Wack son!

Head is thee worst. No direction, no clue, no good! It’s a travesty. What a waste. I implore you all to be confident in what you do, however never, and I mean never be bad in bed. Don’t even dilute yourself with thoughts of “I’m pretty good” when you’re not, cause you’ll be led astray every time. Our little community is small, believe me, your girl tells her girls when you fail, and we’re snickering behind your back. *smh* poor thing.

The culprits:

The Overly Confident:

They talk too much about what they’d do to you, brag about being the best. Tell you you’ll never find another as skilled as them, and in actuality they come close to gnawing your clit off.

The Lazy Mouth:

This person probably means well, but lacks motivation, and direction.

The experience can be compared to nothing more than watching paint dry, as you feel absolutely nothing except the urge to yell STOP!

The Over Achiever:

I commend anyone who wants to be good at what they do, but there’s such a thing as over kill. You don’t have to prove anything. I don’t need you to suck me till I’m numb. You can replace the “n” with a “c” loose the “b” and stop there, please, and thank you.

The Selfish:

This really grinds my gears. This woman teases you to no end, samples the “merch” during, without really diving in, but always passes out post climax, and leaves you hot and bothered with empty promises of “let me lay here a second, and I got you” or “you took all my energy”. Bullshit!

Yikes! I’m starting to get flashbacks, so I’ll stop here. If you have any examples, please post.

A Dressers Best Friend

2010-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

If you are a connoisseur of bow ties, pause for a moment of empathy. Whether you like them or not, bow ties are a classic staple for any smart dresser. It also shows that you care about your appearance. You find yourself making sure its straight every 17 minutes with an

‘I look better than you’ smirk on your face all day and what tops it off is the style, texture, and creativeness of the Bow Tie.

Its Truly A Clean Finish.

Take a look at these David Hart & Company's authentic Scottish tartan bow ties below. Each tie is 100% premium imported wool from one of the oldest weaving mills in Scotland and tipped with rich Italian silk. Hand made with the utmost attention to detail. This is Real Haute.

Start @ $115 to get your bow tie game up visit the website http://www.davidhartnyc.com/

Now tell me you don’t feel me. ‘Ye does…

Everyone But Beyonce II

2010-01-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

Sylvia Black

Lead singer of the Brooklyn bound band KUDU.

I found what she wrote in her 'About Me' section on myspace interesting.

So Ill have her speak for herself.

She's BAAAD.

"This illy cat back at it, still throwin crack at it, still fuckin with them crack addix, still bustin wit them black 'matics... it aint the bux, it's the rush and tryin to git my ass at it... They say I think ass backwards... Fuck how I act, as long as I stack, it's all mathmatics"... Body of the Mominatrix, but I aint got no kids. Left Handed. I enjoy long walks off short piers, redneck women and long-neck beers... Scaring is caring...

I like to release a single white dove every time I climax...

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold... It's lonely at the top... Hitting new lows... High-Wasted... syncretistic... I sit down when I pee, there's nothing that crazy bout me... I live in a room with no view... Pretty fuckin' fortunate... Even if I don't always recognize... Life is but a dream... Dreams are made of emotion... My cup runneth over...Always rockin never stoppin jive talkin street walkin', hot mess in a hot dress... I EAT TRAX LIKE SNAX!.. I make a lot of music. produce, arrange, lyrics, writing I am K.U.D.U., Betty Black, P.O.P (fahgheddaboudit)... and I have recorded with tons of people. Someday I will organize all the recordings into one place. I do fun things, beautiful things, weird things, ugly things, things for money...Sometimes you cant tell it's me. I used to play bass like crazy. When I was 16 I thought I would set out to be the best bassist in the universe (Bass Fest champ!)... I came very very close, hahaha, but I found out how gay that was. I went to music school for 4 long years and I was miserable...I was a freak for music before that, don't even try me. I am a musical slut , MUUUSically, so don't get it twirled. was born in 'Bama and moved around the country way more than a child should leaving a trail of teary eyed children, parents, and pets in my absence."

(Take note of that sweet Alabama THICKness)

NYE 2009

2010-01-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

Hope you all brought in the new year as nearly as bangin' as we did.

We wish you a Happy & Safe New Year!

From your favorites, Lesbifriends.

(SadiyyaAmeena)

Hot Like Leather Pants: Heroes Edition

2009-12-30T13:51:00.000-08:00

I think i wanna write her a poem....

Oh, Dania... How you make me swoon...

I wouldn't mind the chance to fork ya...

but with those 2 dollops up top...

I'd much rather spoon.

SOON.

How to Disable a Woman.

2009-12-30T13:41:00.001-08:00

(Relax and take a joke)

lol

Braids & Beads

2009-12-30T11:04:00.000-08:00

I’m willing to bet my favorite cocoa butter lip balm that the
majority of people looking at this picture will laugh. But this isn’t funny. Nor is it tragic, unacceptable, outrageous or any of the words we usually look to when trying to describe an unfortunate situation. Allow me to introduce a more appropriate word: OBSOLETE.

ob-so-lete [ob-suh-leet, ob-suh-leet]
- adjective
1. no longer in general use
2. out of date
3. imperfectly developed or rudimentary in comparison with the corresponding character in other individuals

Synonyms: antiquated, ancient, old.

You don’t wanna be this. It starts with braids and beads. Then comes the throwback jersey, bandana and sunglasses in the club. And it always ends with hitting a waitress over the head with a bottle at Jermaine Dupri’s nightclub and being charged with felony aggravated assault. I know it seems like a far stretch, but the things that seem the most inconsequential often snowball outta control. The LesbiFriends aim to keep you off that slippery slope.

Thank us later.

Let's Be Friends...

2009-12-29T21:18:00.000-08:00

Now, one woman that inspires me to keep sewing repetitively, is Rihanna… you might laugh, but I’m as serious as a Little Dragon beat. Ladies!!! Take Notes. No haters please. I mean, at the end of the day, her stylist that helps her dress is dope! IF she even has a stylist, idk, I’m still going…

She has the essentials for setting trends and being my wife. Im just saying. 1. Class and Confidence 2. Elegant and Sexy 3. All Black Everything is just a fashion staple to everyone who knows..

All i'm sayin is, I'd rather be around stylish women than a room full of apple-bottoms(sp?). Let Rihanna or Amber Rose step to me and Lauren, DUH We Are Goiing!!!

My fashion Appreciations: harem pants, big collars, military-style bag, pearls, colossal heels

NO!!

2009-12-29T13:58:00.001-08:00

What the FUGG are these!?!? If you can't afford Uggs then get another boot! These are unacceptable!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Black Swan is not just a Metaphor.

2009-12-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

She cant get a clue? Have Thom Yorke's Black Swan help.

What will grow crooked, you can't make straight
It's the price that you gotta pay
Do yourself a favour and pack your bags
Buy a ticket and get on the train
Buy a ticket and get on the train

Cause this is fucked up, fucked up
Cause this is fucked up, fucked up

People get crushed like biscuit crumbs
And lay down in the bitumen
You have tried your best to please everyone
But it just isn't happenin
No, it just isn't happenin

And that is fucked up, fucked up
And this is fucked up, fucked up
This your blind spot, blind spot
It should be obvious, but it's not.
But it isn't, but it isn't

You cannot kickstart a dead horse
You just crush yourself and walk away
I don't care what the future holds
'Cause I'm right in your arms today
With your fingers you can touch me

I am your black swan, black swan
But I made it to the top, but I made it to the top
And this is fucked up, fucked up

You are fucked up, fucked up
This is fucked up, fucked up

Be your black swan, black swan
I'm for spare parts, broken u

Alright... Let's Talk About #TRACKLEGS

2009-12-28T22:58:00.000-08:00

Anybody who knows me

(LolaMaeBee / @LaurMajesty / Lauren)

-I'm willing to put my govn't on the line for this one-

knows THIS:

I'm subject to break out in a sudden dissertation on tracklegs at any given moment... Mid-conversation. 3 steps into a room... Hell, after Sunday service and a good message from Deacon Jones, in a room fulla amputee's!

All is fair in love & tracklegs.

So... gather 'round the red hot hip-to-ankle region my friends and listen close... to the magic that is... TRACKLEGS.

What are they you ask? Just the song in my heart, the pep in my step. They are the legs you're unknowingly stepping off the redline behind, until you look up and notice that those are no ordinary legs... They catch you off guard... "What are THOSE legs doing on my classmate? On my saleschick at Barney's? Why isn't this bitch somewhere doing the 100 meter hurdles in painted on track shorts with those legs?" Because you've only ever seen 'em on the Olympic Gold Medal Stand & boy are they a set of winners.

Cleanly but not overly defined, just curvy enough...

and even through wool work pants, you jus KNOW they glisten.

they are these...

and these...

these too...

especially these...

(gold medalist* p.s. i know these legs)

Get it yet?

Sheila Rashid

2009-12-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

You wish there were five of her dont you? Your bad!

YES!!

2009-12-28T13:23:00.001-08:00

These Raf Simons are a must have!! Take all your Christmas money and purchase these before it is too late!

NO!!!!

2009-12-28T13:04:00.001-08:00

I am so embarrassed for FILA! The shoe on the left is an imitation Prada shoe!! The shoe in the right is the actual Prada shoe.

If you own the shoe in the left, you don't deserve to breathe! Kill yourself!!

If you want this shoe, SPLURGE, don't STEAL!!!

YES and NO

2009-12-28T12:57:00.000-08:00

YES and NO will bring you what to wear and what NOT to wear! If you find that you have an item in the NO category, please throw it away or kill yourself.

So let's begin....

In the Mirror

2009-12-27T19:34:00.001-08:00

SadiyyaAmeena on the Shutter

For Your Viewing Pleasure(s)

This Will Make Her GO...

2009-12-27T15:06:00.000-08:00

ATTENTION! If you ever wondered what will make a female Go(primarily for yourself), the answer is simple. . .your choice of clothing. :) Now, this technique might not have worked for everyone, but it has worked indubitably well for me personally. Quite honestly, these Raf Simons x Fred Perry loafers make me wish I was on an island of Bitches right now, because somebody’s going!

Check out these other top-shelf sneakers in Raf Simons by Dr. Martens 2010 collection that will definitely score points with the ladies and have you walking nice for the New Year. I mean, how would you wear these.

Available @ http://www.rafsimons.com

raw & uncut: the truth, not cocaine (but definitely just as dope) pt. 2

2009-12-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

QUOTE (from pt. 1):
women. you frustrate me! are you incapable of casually dating? do you know that you don't have to enter a relationship 2 months after a dating a cool chick? and you DO realize you said 2 months ago you were completely disinterested in a relationship... "YOU LIE!!!"

been doing more theorizing on this...
here's what i've come up with:
it's not that you chicks are lying; the issue is that we are on 2 different pages.
i say: i'm not interested a relationship [implied: because i have baggage or because i'm selfish or because i already know you're not relationship material].
YOU say: i'm not interested in a relationship either [implied: because i hardly know you so how can i possibly want anything serious with you right now].
the problem with a statement such as this is that your situation will most likely change over time if 1: you get to know the chick and 2: she turns out to be cool (and then implied 3: if she doesn't do random shit to blow you repeatedly). this is fine and all because everyone is allowed to change her mind. but you have to understand that MY situation is not based on anyone else. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO OR SAY OR HOW MUCH TIME WE SPEND, I'M NOT CHANGING MY MIND. because it's not ABOUT you. we can spend time and have a ball but that won't change the fact that i'm bitter about my past relationship. or that i'm selfish right now. or that i just wanna get hoes. or whatever the issue may be*

so i feel like y'all kinda ARE lying. you ARE interested in a relationship. you haven't identified who you'd like to be in one WITH... but as soon as you find her, you're gonna be all over it. so let's try to work on that wording. when you meet someone and she says she's not interested in a relationship, ask her "BECAUSE WHAT?" communicating about both of you guys' 'becauses' is CRITICAL!!!!! then when you say whatever you say - wait... i'ma just go ahead and suggest that you don't even bother starting off with being uninterested in a relationship because it's misleading. instead, you should say this: obviously i can't say if i'd want a relationship with you right now because we hardly know each other and my mind isn't even on that at this point. but as far as what i'm looking for... i'm not the type that prefers extra casual dating/sex so i'd like to find someone with whom i canspend time and if it goes well, a relationship would be good with me.** this way, all cards are on the table and you should have a better chance of finding someone who is on the same page as you.

* for the record, i am actually neither of these things any longer. and i WOULD be interested in a relationship if i came across someone who had her life in order and didn't blow me. but i can tell right off if you have your life in order to the extent that would make you relationship material (IN MY OPINION). so when i give you the "i'm not interested in a relationship" line, the implied because is: because you aren't relationship material. but that doesn't mean you'd be a total waste of my time. which brings us back to my past liquor analogy. if this approach doesn't work for you, then DO NOT ALLOW ME to expose you to my charm! i will no longer feel guilty about anyone who gets alcohol poisoning from their dealings with me. but what i WILL do is issue a disclaimer: caveat emptor!

**make this a memo in your phone so that you may refer to it and even convert it to an email or text message if need be!

Marry, Bop, Kill... The Eva's Edition

2009-12-26T19:14:00.000-08:00

Game is simple...

(a favorite i picked up from my brothers at Leaders 1354)

Who'd you marry?

Who'd you bop it to?

Who'd you kill to consolidate your already diverse portfolio?

evalongoria

evamarcille-pigford

evamendes

aaaand... GO!

drop your votes in the comments.

I Remember When I Fell In Love

2009-12-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

"So what's your favorite position Amber?..."
wait fooor it... waaait... yesss.

Everyone But Beyonce pt I

2009-12-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

Pardon me, it wasn't my intention to hurt many feelings BUT this is NOT about ~~Beyonce~~ . In fact, "Everyone but ~~Beyonce~~" is to introduce you to powerful, amazing women who might not have as much fame as ~~Beyonce~~ but, without a doubt, has the talent that probably exceeds hers, plus more.

1st up with a great introduction from 'Hot Like Leather Pants Wicked Tunes Edition', I introduce you to...
Shingai Shoniwa

A unique individual of Zimbabwean descent who grew up in South London, she is the lead singer and bassist for the UK indie-rock band Noisettes. Her startlingly powerful voice will leave you mesmerized. Only to see her perform passionately is something to watch. So I leave you with this... a live acoustic version of one of my favorite songs by the Noisettes IWE.

Hot Like Leather Pants Wicked Tunes Edition

2009-12-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Noisettes - Every Now & Then

Do yourself a favor... go find more from them...

A BLACK GIRL NAMED BECKY

2009-12-21T23:36:00.000-08:00

Here are the 4 times I wanted to be white!

DAMN HAROLDS!?!?! JUST GET A NEW SIGN!

This is the Harolds on 55th and Prairie! FORCE? For real Harold?!?!

WEST SIDE!! Nuff said!

This is the store on 59th and Indiana. I went in to get orange juice and everyone behind the counter was SLEEP!!!

This is the State of Illinois Building on 99th and King Drive! WTF

WE GOTTA DO BETTER!!!

Damn the Dam

2009-12-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

In random convo last nite the subject of dental dam came up. This was a terribly interesting topic as many of my buddies have never used dental dam, or even seen the shit. At least 2 were like wtf is that? One person who shall remain nameless said "don't you use a condom on your strap"? Ha! You cant protect your face with that joint. It lead to a tutorial if you will. I had to shed some light on this enigma that was "dental dam".

Now for all who don't know dental dam is a thin piece of protection you place on your partners "love box". The consistency of it resembles a balloon, chalky, and rubbery. Honestly this material fucking sucks! I've tried it for the sake of having safe sex, to become so irritated at its bad taste, and lack of feeling that I in turn lost all my interest in the act all together! Can you say blown?!? With the failure of dental dam I've found a good back up in saran wrap. Its cheap and you get tons of it! Granted its not the sexiest thing, however the feeling is 10x more pleasurable, its super thin, and if you wanna hook your jumpoff up, you can do so without the worry of catching that 'throat itch". Being safe is not always what lesbians/bi-sexual think of. Please believe a chic can harbor the same itchy mcscratchys a guy would so don't be fooled. Wrap that shit up B!!!!!!

raw & uncut: the truth, not cocaine (but definitely just as dope) pt. 1

2009-12-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

women. you frustrate me! are you incapable of casually dating? do you know that you don't have to enter a relationship 2 months after dating a cool chick? and you DO realize that 2 months ago you said you were completely uninterested in a relationship... "YOU LIE!!!"

more after the hump...

so here's the thing: dating is similar to alcohol consumption. we're all adults. i don't know how high your alcohol tolerance is. i don't know how long you've been drinking. nor do i know WHAT you've been drinking. but what i DO know is that i've been drinking minimum 80 proof for the past 10 years. and not just hood cognac or your average vodka but champagne, cacacha, wine, sangria, mescal. i know my limits. and they're pretty high. not often will i get off my square. not often will i slur or stumble. not often will i drink until i throw up (also known as "drink more than i can handle").

women are drinkin more than they can handle, throwin up, AND gettin hang overs (please follow the metaphor). what they don't realize is 2 things: 1) again, i don't know you and your limits. if you come drinkin with me, i'ma do what i do and stop when i know i should. and i'm assuming that as an adult you're doing the same. 2) i'm only human. once i realize how sloppy drunk you are, i MAY find it hard not to take advantage of you. #imjustsayin

ladies why aren't you paying attention and limiting your alcohol intake? i'm not the first one you've come across. you've been here before. you fell for a chick when you didn't expect to. you said you didn't want a relationship and then changed your mind before. you spent time with her and THOUGHT she was changing her mind and was gonna wife you when she already told you what it was. but you keep doing it.

and i guess i'm just ultimately confused at the way people think: "you should just pull back" or "you shouldn't be fuckin these girls" or "you can't give everyone your best." like i told a good friend, "my NOT best is still fuckin amazing." haha i joke, i kid. but why am I the one pulling back or struggling to resist you when you're throwin it? i get bored. i get lonely. i wanna cake. i wanna have sex. (say this like John Witherspoon in Friday "i like pig's FEET" lol)

it's unrealistic to expect me to have enough discipline for me AND you. especially when you apparently don't even have enough for yourself.

= end rant =

My Buddy and Meeee!: A Buyers Guide

2009-12-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, gather 'round young ones, let us talk for a moment about something very important to the longevity of our species. The Pocket Pony. Rubber Rambo. Goliath. *record skips* whoa whoa whoa... maybe not Goliath, but you know what it is: The Dildo. Add a harness to the mix and a dash of lube and you've got the fixin's for an event that'll have you unable to look your grandma in the eye next time she asks you to pass the Crisco.

But, before you go off knockin' down walls Bob Villa, it's best to get to know the tools of the trade, and which is right for the job you've been contracted to perform.

Hot Like Leather Pants Ed. 1

2009-12-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hellooo nurse.

sorry robin thicke, you don't deserve this.
i demand to know who you sold your soul to and if they still have inventory...

sincerely, moi.